Parenting doesn’t come with a manual or a guaranteed formula for success. Over the past 25 years, we’ve largely relied on trial and error, improvising our way through the complexities of raising children. Just this week, our firstborn transitioned into a new role as a husband, marrying the lovely girl from down the street.
Throughout this journey, we absorbed plenty of advice and looked up to some incredible role models, yet most of the time, we were sailing without a compass. The only real check-in we received was from a hospital staff member who adjusted our newborn’s car seat as we were leaving. Years later, when our child was around three, the daycare asked me to clarify a rather amusing incident where he claimed he spent the weekend in a “cabinet.” After some back and forth, it became clear he meant “cabin” — we had indeed spent a rainy weekend at a state park, cooped up in a cabin. Thank you for looking out for us!
Much of our parenting wisdom came from navigating the unknown. I was fortunate to have friends in the same boat, and together we tackled parenting dilemmas long before Google and WebMD made information readily accessible. The guidelines kept changing — we placed our 1991 babies on their stomachs, only to switch to their backs for the 1993 babies. Baby walkers were once a staple, then suddenly deemed unsafe. It felt like we were unwitting participants in an ongoing parenting experiment, figuring things out as we went.
Our son began speaking in full sentences seemingly overnight. He walked, rode a bike, and learned to swim at his own pace. Despite my worries about his “delayed” milestones, he turned out just fine. I can’t get those sleepless nights back, but I sure have lost plenty of sleep worrying about his teenage driving and late-night outings.
When our son expressed the desire to walk to kindergarten two miles away like his friends, we obliged, strollering his younger brother along. Not my best idea! I ended up carrying him those last few blocks while urging him to hold on tight like a baby monkey, hurrying to avoid being late. Lesson learned: “monkey-tight” is not a reliable mode of transportation.
After our third child arrived, we moved into a bigger home with three bedrooms: small, medium, and large. Naturally, we took the large bedroom. But our boys made a compelling case for deserving the bigger room, citing their need for space to play and create. They won that debate.
Fast forward a few years, and my oldest was 11, making a list of all the adults shorter than him who still sat in the front seat, determined to ride shotgun before he turned 12. Another solid argument.
Navigating difficult conversations often required grace and honesty. When tragedy struck and a classmate of his passed away, he asked how a loving God could allow such pain. I told him the truth: I don’t know, but I’ll ask God when I get the chance. A year later, when we faced my cancer diagnosis, he asked if I would die, and I answered as truthfully as I could: Yes, but not from this. These were hard lessons.
As life unfolded, we learned practical lessons too: a pile of ball bearings can’t support a minivan, you can wear your baseball uniform to accept your math award, and lacrosse is indeed a contact sport. You will need that Spanish you learned, and playing guitar for others is a true gift. The laughter shared with grandparents is priceless, and time spent at the beach or ballpark is always well-invested. Tastes change, and picky eaters can become adventurous. Your brother will always be your ally, and sometimes you need to countersteer through life’s challenges. Celebrate achievements together, like crossing the finish line of a race linked arm-in-arm with your mom.
When you discover that the right partner has been down the street all along, sharing evenings together, making plans, and growing side by side, it becomes clear that you really do “just know.” As my son’s brother aptly put it during his engagement: “Zero people are surprised, and 100% are delighted.” Not bad for parents who were just figuring it out as we went along, setting navigational beacons along an uncertain course. Godspeed to you and your lovely bride.
Sometimes, you hold on tight, and sometimes, you need to let go gently.
For more insights on parenting and family life, check out our other posts, like the one on navigating home insemination options here. And if you’re looking for reputable products for at-home insemination, visit this site. For additional guidance on pregnancy and home insemination, the CDC is an excellent resource.
In summary, the parenting journey is filled with lessons learned through experience, humor, and love. Each challenge and milestone contributes to a rich tapestry of memories and growth.
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