I always imagined that we’d have more time — more time before the world began to notice my son’s unique qualities. I can anticipate the reactions from adults; I see those sympathetic smiles from older folks at the grocery store, the disapproving stares when my son struggles in public spaces, and the relieved glances from other mothers at the park who seem grateful that their children do not face similar challenges.
What I didn’t expect was for children to react to my son’s special needs so soon. He’s not even four yet, and I truly believed we had a little more time. I should have prayed for more time.
Just yesterday, we were enjoying a lovely afternoon at the park. Three little girls, no older than five, were sprinting through the play structure, their brown pigtails bouncing as they laughed together. Their joy echoed through the park, filling the air with innocence and delight.
I noticed the girls stealing glances at my son as he jumped and spun in circles, expressing his excitement with vocalizations that filled the air. His laughter was infectious, and he was clearly having a blast. But then, it happened.
As they dashed past him, one girl touched his arm while another shouted, “Crazy!” before running away giggling. In that moment, time froze for me. While the other families continued their merriment and my son remained blissfully unaware, I felt an overwhelming wave of sadness wash over me. It struck me hard — he truly stands out, and others are beginning to take notice.
Have you ever felt an emotional weight so heavy that it momentarily robs you of your breath? It’s a crushing feeling, my friends.
No one prepares you for the heartache that accompanies motherhood, for the deep ache that comes from loving someone beyond measure, or for the fierce protective instinct that ignites the moment they place that tiny being in your arms. When you’re a parent to a child with special needs, those feelings multiply exponentially. They simply have to.
I know I can’t shield my son from the harsh realities of the world. None of us can. But I can ensure he knows he is loved, that he is accepted for who he is, that he’s not “crazy,” and that being different is nothing to be ashamed of.
As he slid down the playground slide, I enveloped him in a warm hug and whispered, “You are my greatest joy. Before you came to me, I longed for you. Mama loves you bigger than the universe.” In my heart, I believe he hears me, even if he can’t respond in words.
I know my love resonates louder than the misunderstanding voiced by others. And that alone is enough for me.
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In summary, parenting a child with special needs is a journey fraught with emotional highs and lows. The love we feel for our children is immense but can be compounded by the challenges they face in a world that can sometimes be unkind. Through it all, ensuring our children feel cherished and accepted is our greatest mission.
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