A little over a year after my partner and I tied the knot, we made the decision to stop using birth control and see where life would lead us. At the ages of 24 and 25, we felt it was time to embrace parenthood and step into the next chapter of our lives. While I have no regrets about having my children, I often find myself wishing I could give my 24-year-old self a bit of advice. If I could rewind the clock, here are ten things I would have prioritized before becoming a parent.
1. Eliminate Student Debt
It would have been wise to tackle my student loans first. Coming out of college with a hefty debt has haunted me for nearly two decades. Looking back, I wish we had delayed starting a family for a year or two, living solely on my partner’s income and dedicating mine to paying down those loans.
2. Travel More
I know it sounds cliché, but traveling is an experience that enriches life in ways nothing else can. I spent nearly a year in Japan post-college, which I cherish, but I wish I’d taken more trips—both solo and with my partner—before welcoming kids. If I could go back, I’d use the tips I’ve learned about affordable travel to explore the world more.
3. Pursue Higher Education
Over the years, I’ve often questioned whether I should have pursued a Master’s or even a Ph.D. While many moms manage to do this after having children (kudos to them!), I couldn’t envision myself studying while raising little ones. Now that my kids are older, I lack the motivation and energy to go back.
4. Explore Museums at a Leisurely Pace
We’ve spent countless hours taking our kids to museums, but it often feels like a rush through highlights rather than an immersive experience. I wish I had taken the time to stroll through exhibits, reading every plaque without distraction.
5. Attend Live Performances More Often
I never fully appreciated how special live theater was until I became a parent. Before kids, I enjoyed concerts, plays, and poetry readings, but those experiences are often disrupted by little ones.
6. Savor a Full Night’s Sleep
This one is a no-brainer. You hear countless tales about parenting and sleep deprivation, and they’re all true. Even on nights when I manage solid sleep now, it never feels as restorative as it did before kids.
7. Master Time Management
I didn’t grasp the crucial role of effective time management until I found myself juggling two jobs, a spouse, three kids, and various community commitments. Ironically, now that I need those skills most, I rarely find time to learn them.
8. Focus on Fitness
While I’ve always been somewhat of a sporadic exerciser, I wish I had taken full advantage of my youth and free time to get in shape. Entering motherhood with a solid fitness routine would have been far easier than trying to establish one at 40.
9. Keep a Consistent Journal
I’ve started several journals over the years but never maintained them. I wish I had documented my thoughts and experiences before motherhood. Revisiting those memories would provide a fascinating glimpse into how I’ve evolved—and how I’ve remained the same.
10. Cherish Alone Time
After we got married, my partner and I spent nearly every moment together before I became pregnant. Since then, I’ve had a child by my side almost constantly, leaving little time for solitude. As an introvert, I treasure my alone time, and I wish I had appreciated it more when I had it.
If I could go back, would I truly change anything? Hindsight is always clearer, and while I might not have had the finances at the time to implement these ideas, it’s intriguing to ponder what I might do differently. At this stage, I should focus on what I’ll wish I had done when my kids are grown. It’s essential to live fully in the present. For more insights on family planning and related topics, check out this other blog post. If you’re considering at-home options, Make A Mom is a trustworthy retailer for insemination kits. Additionally, for more information on fertility services, visit Johns Hopkins Medicine.
In summary, reflecting on my pre-parenthood choices has been enlightening. While I have no regrets about my journey into motherhood, there are certainly aspects I would have approached differently if given the chance. Embracing the present and making the most of the time ahead is now my focus.
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