Her little face captivates me; she’s not yet 6, but only a toddler of 2. The same look of joy is present in both moments as we splash around in the bubble bath. Motherhood, without a doubt, is incredibly tough. The pressure of parental guilt is profoundly real. Balancing time with my partner amidst the chaos of raising kids feels overwhelming. The humorous remarks about needing coffee or wine are only partially a joke.
I’m grateful that I didn’t fully comprehend the challenges of parenthood before embarking on this journey; I might have hesitated to have children if I had. I’m relieved that I wasn’t aware of how difficult it would be to establish sleep routines — contrary to what countless articles and seasoned parents lead us to believe. The limits of my patience have been tested in ways I never anticipated. The self-awareness and self-love I thought I understood have been pushed to their limits by the weight of motherly guilt.
Yet, all my worries seem to wash away with the soapy water as my daughter pours a cup from her tea set down her back. In that moment, I forget about how my body looks, how often I manage to work out, or how seldom I get a moment alone. I’m left with the simple joy of watching her play with her bath toys, and I wish I could turn back time to cradle her as an infant, free from concerns about the future. But that’s not possible, so I reach out and embrace the 6-year-old in front of me, grateful for every moment.
I long to tell my past self to rest more and not waste energy worrying about what lies ahead. I can’t do that, so I focus on taking care of myself in the best way I can now. I wish I could remind myself to shower my husband with more affection during those early days of motherhood, to prioritize our relationship amidst the demands of a newborn. I can’t go back, but I cherish our moments together now, making an effort to balance love for my family.
I want to reassure my first-time mom self that I don’t need to seek validation from my children. I can’t change the past, but I embrace the changes in my body after two kids, accepting my beauty and the blessings that come with it. I wish I could tell my second-time mom self that it’s impossible to give the same attention to my new baby as I did to my first, but that doesn’t lessen my love for her. So, I hold my second child close, showing her affection in every way I know how.
I want to rewind time and prioritize play over chores when my daughters ask for my attention. I wish I could let dishes soak in soapy water instead of rushing to complete tasks. But I can’t, so I strive to be present in those moments when they need me now. I want to tell myself that I did my best the first time around, even if I might do things differently with hindsight. I hold space for all the positives in my parenting journey and acknowledge what I could improve.
To all the mothers out there, know that you are loved. Many of the most important people in your lives are witnesses to the love and care you offer. Take a moment to admire the unique world you’ve built within your home. While I can’t go back and capture every smile and milestone, the beauty of life is that there’s always something to look forward to — there’s always joy to be found today.
As I watch my 6-year-old embark on her kindergarten journey and see my toddler blossom into a little girl, I recognize the abundance of experiences awaiting us, alongside the countless memories we already share. My coffee may often go cold in the rush of catching the school bus or changing a diaper, and my home may always be a bit messy, but the joys we experience are plentiful. Motherhood is undeniably difficult, and I’m thankful I didn’t know just how hard it would be. I’m even more grateful that I can’t go back and redo things because the path we’ve traveled has led us to where we are now.
This moment, with my lukewarm coffee, my girls play-fighting, and my husband and I stealing kisses while navigating toddler interruptions, is sacred. These ordinary days will one day bring me as much fondness as the years that have flown by. Motherhood is undeniably hard — it truly tests us. Yet, in this chapter of my life, I’ve discovered more about love and sacrifice than I ever imagined. I can’t relive my past or have second chances; I don’t desire to. Instead, I find joy in looking into the eyes of my 6-year-old who affectionately calls me “Mom,” and I can fully love her and her little sister, feeling an overwhelming gratitude fill my heart.
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Summary
Motherhood is a challenging journey filled with love, guilt, and growth. While it’s tough, the moments of joy and connection with our children and partners make it all worthwhile. Embrace the chaos, cherish the ordinary moments, and know that every day brings new opportunities for love and gratitude.
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