Back in my childhood, playdates were a foreign concept. We roamed our neighborhoods freely, forging friendships until the streetlights flickered on, signaling it was time to head home. Today, however, everything is meticulously scheduled, and as a parent, I feel a distinct pressure to ensure my kids behave impeccably during these structured gatherings. After all, my reputation is on the line too!
I’ve compiled a list of guidelines that I share with my children prior to their playdates. While my intention is to teach them how to be polite and respectful, it’s also about making sure they don’t embarrass themselves—or me. Here’s a glimpse of the wisdom I pass down:
- Pretending to be a dog is fine, but biting is a definite no-no.
- Always offer to help tidy up, even if you’d rather not.
- Flush the toilet! I don’t care if the sound freaks you out; keep your bathroom business private.
- If you dislike their snacks, keep it to yourself and simply say, “No thank you.” No need to showcase your rudeness.
- If excitement gets the best of you and you feel nauseous, please aim for the toilet or trash can. We don’t want to be known as the family who vomits on furniture.
- Show off those dance moves of yours; they’re adorable!
- Remove your shoes at their door, even if others don’t. Trust me, I know where your feet have been.
- If your socks have holes, take them off too.
- Aim straight when using the bathroom; we don’t want any accidents on their floor.
- Handle their toys with care. Breaking things is inconsiderate. But if you do accidentally damage something, apologize sincerely.
- Offer to assist with homework, even if it seems boring. You might score future invitations!
- Stay calm, even if they’re being rude. Remember, you’re a guest; choose not to engage further.
- Use “please” and “thank you,” even if the food isn’t your favorite.
- Keep your clothes on—this isn’t a nudist colony!
- Share your toys, even if they’re stingy with theirs. Think of it as practice for sharing in life.
- No booger eating—yours or theirs. Just don’t do it!
- If they’re not into Pokémon, save it for someone else. The same goes for Minecraft.
- Avoid name-calling, like “butthole.” I regret teaching you that one.
- If you need to scratch an itch, do it discreetly in the bathroom, followed by a hand wash. No one wants to be the kid who digs and then reaches for the chips.
- If nature calls, answer it right away! No hiding accidents—trust me, we don’t want to repeat the sofa incident of last year.
- And please, for the love of all that is good, don’t mention any of these rules to your friends. In fact, let’s keep my name out of it entirely.
Of course, I don’t recite this entire list before every playdate. I focus on what they’re currently grappling with. Ultimately, I aim for them to represent themselves and our family well. I know my kids better than anyone, and I recognize both their strengths and weaknesses. Playdates are where all of that comes to light, both the good and the not-so-good.
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Summary
Playdates have transformed from spontaneous neighborhood adventures into structured events, prompting parents to instill proper behavior in their children. The author shares personal insights and practical rules aimed at ensuring kids represent themselves and their families well during playdates, while also covering essential topics like politeness, hygiene, and respectful behavior.
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