It’s hard to fathom, but children as young as eight can experience thoughts of suicide. In fact, suicide ranks as one of the leading causes of death among kids aged 10 to 18. As a parent, the very notion of my children grappling with such heavy issues sends chills down my spine. I can recall my own experiences; I was just 14 when I first understood the gravity of my actions during a suicide attempt. This wasn’t my first brush with despair, as I had struggled with insomnia since I was eight, yet I didn’t even have the vocabulary to articulate what was happening inside my mind.
Like many parents might, my mother did her best to help me sleep with warm milk and calming music, but nothing seemed to work. When I would wake in the early hours, distressed and unable to find rest, her solution involved tucking me in on the couch with a book and a small shot of peach schnapps, instructing me to sip slowly. It was a troubling yet all too common way of dealing with a child’s sleeplessness.
As a child, I didn’t recognize the signs of my depression, nor did my parents. I often returned home from school in tears, yet managed to maintain an outward appearance of happiness. It wasn’t until I reached my early teenage years that I discovered the term “depression,” but by then, the signals I was sending out had become so ingrained in my personality that they were almost invisible. Was I simply introverted, or was I genuinely withdrawn? The lines blurred, and I can’t fault my parents for missing the warning signs; depression has a way of convincing you to keep your struggles hidden.
How Can We Engage in This Critical Conversation?
So how can we, as parents, become more proactive in this critical conversation?
The harsh reality is that there may be no clear indicators, and even when you do spot them, resources can be limited. When I reflect on my childhood, I wish my parents had opened up discussions about mental health. I longed for them to assure me that it was completely normal to experience feelings of sadness or anxiety and that it’s perfectly okay to seek help when those feelings become overwhelming.
I often think about how different my journey might have been if my parents had shared their own experiences with therapy or provided me with literature about kids dealing with similar struggles. I wanted to know that I wasn’t a monster for having dark thoughts; that talking about them was the first step toward healing.
Now that my children are approaching the same age when my struggles began, I make a conscious effort to engage them in these conversations, even though it’s challenging. It’s tough to admit that I have a condition they cannot see, but it’s vital for them to understand that mental illness runs in our family. I explain that therapy is an important tool for me, and navigating this topic is much easier than the alternative of losing a child due to silence.
Whether you have a personal history with mental health or not, initiating these discussions is crucial. It’s essential to communicate to your children that feelings of hopelessness or irrational anger can be normal, but if they persist, they should seek help. They need to know that there’s no shame in having a mental illness.
It’s also important to familiarize yourself with the signs of depression and suicide. Talk to your kids openly, and most importantly, make sure to listen. By doing so, we can all play a role in the collective effort to #StopSuicide.
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In conclusion, while it may seem daunting, discussing mental health and suicide with your children is a necessary step in fostering their well-being. By breaking the silence, we can nurture an environment where they feel safe to express their feelings and seek help when needed.
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