The moment I discovered I was expecting my third child, I was immediately thrust into a whirlwind of emotions. Just the day after taking that pregnancy test, I found myself balancing my two little ones, a 2-year-old and a 1-year-old, as we made our way down the stairs for breakfast. It was a sweet morning ritual where I would carry them both and serenade them with my silly song, “Two Babies.” However, I quickly realized that with a new baby on the way, I needed to rethink how I managed my mornings.
With my body about to go through a lot of changes, it became clear that carrying two toddlers was going to become increasingly difficult. So, I made the decision to gently place them down and hold their hands instead. The reaction? A full-blown tantrum that I can only describe as a scene from a comedy show. They didn’t care about the baby growing inside me or how exhausted I felt; they just wanted their morning routine.
Typically, I would have tried to distract them with a treat or involve them in breakfast prep, but I quickly understood that my priorities had to shift. I was going to need to nurse my newborn and manage two upset toddlers at the same time. There would be moments when I would have to let them scream it out. My experience with my first two kids taught me that I needed to be mentally and physically prepared for the challenges ahead. To cope, I had to let go of some of my previous habits:
1. I Stopped Allowing Visitors at the Hospital.
The only people who heard from me were those few my husband managed to contact on the way to the hospital. I wanted peace and quiet to focus on welcoming my new baby, not a crowd waiting to bombard me with well-meaning but overwhelming encouragements. I needed that precious time to bond with my newborn and recharge.
2. I Stopped Overexerting Myself.
With three kids, the chaos was real! All three would often cry and need attention simultaneously. I had to come to terms with the fact that I couldn’t comfort each child constantly. We learned to navigate through a bit of discomfort, and in turn, we all became more resilient.
3. I Stopped Caring So Much.
If my older kids ended up watching four hours of cartoons while I nursed the baby, so be it. I stopped stressing about keeping them entertained 24/7. I traded homemade organic snacks for more convenient, store-bought options. I even learned to chuckle when people offered unsolicited parenting tips.
4. I Stopped Accepting Unexpected Visitors.
Unless you were bringing dinner and were invited, don’t even think about dropping by! I no longer had the energy to play the gracious hostess. My focus shifted to survival mode, and unless you were ready to help, I wasn’t interested in company.
5. I Stopped Saying Yes All the Time.
This was a tough one, especially for my kids and spouse. “No, I can’t pretend to be a crazy elephant right now, I need to feed your brother.” I had to set boundaries, not just with my family but also with friends and relatives. Those who respected my limits stayed in my life, and those who didn’t? Well, they faded away, and that was perfectly fine.
Life with three children turned my world upside down and made me question everything I thought I knew about parenting. Yet, I realized I was still capable of loving deeply and doing my best, even if that meant saying no more often than I used to. I learned to embrace the messiness of motherhood, knowing that it was okay if my house wasn’t spotless or if my kids occasionally ate junk food. By letting go of my perfectionist tendencies, I empowered myself to be the kind of mother I wanted to be.
For more insights into the journey of parenthood, check out this post from our other blog. And if you’re considering home insemination options, visit this excellent resource that provides valuable information.
Summary:
Welcoming a third child means making significant adjustments in parenting style, including limiting visitors, reducing self-imposed pressures, and learning to say no. It’s a transformative experience that emphasizes the importance of prioritizing self-care and family over societal expectations.
Leave a Reply