Let’s face it: Marriage isn’t easy. In fact, calling it “hard” barely scratches the surface. It’s a complex journey filled with highs and lows that can be both exhilarating and exhausting. Personally, my perspective on marriage may be skewed since I grew up in a home where love was often overshadowed by conflict. My parents were in a constant battle, both with each other and with us kids. I often wondered whether they truly loved one another or if they simply stayed together out of obligation to their faith.
Divorce isn’t a walk in the park either. I liken marriage to an abstract piece of art — chaotic yet purposeful, showcasing a mix of colors and textures that can be interpreted in myriad ways. It’s beautiful, but it’s also messy. Sometimes, it just hangs there, unspoken and heavy, leaving you searching for the right words.
Perhaps due to the reactions I’ve received regarding my own struggles with marriage, I’ve come to believe that people don’t want to hear about the challenges many couples face. So, I’ve often put on a façade, pretending my marriage is picture-perfect. I’d share cheerful selfies, celebrate milestones, and paint a rosy picture of our life together. If you had peered into my life seven years ago, you’d have seen a highlight reel of happiness while I internally battled fears that we were on the brink of collapse.
That was a serious case of deception on my part. Yet, here we are, somehow still together after 11 years. It’s a miracle, considering I recently wrote about our marriage nearing its breaking point. We’ve danced dangerously close to that edge more times than I can count. I didn’t share the difficult conversations or the moments of betrayal that stemmed from neglect and resentment. I kept quiet about our struggles with communication and the progress we made in overcoming those hurdles. I didn’t disclose our explorations into polyamory or the revelations that came with those discussions. I also never mentioned the moments of anger that led us to hurt each other or the sincere apologies we exchanged for our respective mistakes. There’s a profound sense of shame, whether self-imposed or shaped by societal expectations, around admitting that relationships can be tough.
At least, that’s what I’ve observed from social media. It’s perfectly fine to take pride in a thriving marriage. However, trouble arises when we begin to compare our relationships to the curated images others project, leading us to believe their lives are devoid of struggles. It’s problematic when we see marriage as a binary concept, where those who divorce are shamed, and those who are happily married are glorified, with no acknowledgment of the in-between.
I appreciate the in-between. Right now, my marriage exists in that space — a blend of our unique needs and differences. It’s not working because we’ve discovered some secret formula for love; rather, it flourishes because we’ve let go of the notion that marriage must be flawless. Every relationship comes with its own set of rules, and none are inherently wrong — you do what works for you.
But can we all agree that marriage can be challenging? If you’re interested in diving deeper into relationships and the struggles that often accompany them, check out this blog post for more insights. And if you’re considering options for at-home insemination, this site offers reliable syringe kits. Additionally, for those looking to expand their understanding of pregnancy and home insemination, this resource is excellent.
In summary, marriage is a multifaceted journey that can be beautifully chaotic. It’s essential to acknowledge that the path isn’t always smooth and that it’s okay to share both the triumphs and the trials. Real relationships have depth, and the middle ground is where many of us find our footing.
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