When my fashion-forward daughter received a $40 gift card to DSW for her 13th birthday, I sensed a battle was inevitable. We had been clashing over the suitability of sky-high heels for two years—she was all for them, while I was firmly against.
A few weeks later, our trip to DSW for back-to-school sneakers began smoothly. She swiftly chose a pair of Nikes, and my husband and son, blissfully unaware, headed to the checkout. But not so fast, fellas.
A quick search through the store revealed her sprawled out in the clearance section, carefully buckling on five-inch cork wedge sandals adorned with thick black straps and shiny gold buckles. “Do not say anything!” she grinned at me, her eyes sparkling with excitement. I resisted the urge to help her up and watched as she stood, then sashayed toward the mirror, where the preening commenced.
This wasn’t our first encounter with the world of towering heels. When she was 11, my sister gifted her a pair of shiny black 6-inch peep-toe stilettos that had captivated her at that age. My husband shot me an incredulous look—one that didn’t fade when I admitted I had pre-approved the gift.
“OMG! I love them! I look amazing!” she exclaimed the next day, clicking across our hardwood floor. “I’m wearing these out tonight!”
“No, you’re not,” we replied in unison. “Give me three good reasons why not!” she challenged, her negotiating skills already sharp.
“They’re just not… appropriate,” we said, citing potential injuries like broken ankles and torn tendons. When that argument flopped, we tossed around words like “cheap,” “easy,” and “wrong impression,” even going as far as to talk about “ladies of the night,” for crying out loud.
Honestly, I felt torn myself. I didn’t want my daughter leaving the house in stripper heels, yet I struggled to form a solid argument against it. They weren’t illegal, and she wasn’t going out naked. They were just high heels, right?
In the end, I gave her the green light, especially after my husband deferred to me. She wore them out—twice, once to dinner and once to a play in the city. She garnered a few puzzled looks but mostly received kind comments from women who admired her confidence and understood the pain she felt in those heels.
Fast forward two years, there we were again in the clearance aisle at DSW. My husband asked, “Are you really going to let her buy those?” Caught between wanting to appease him and supporting my daughter, I stayed silent, and he exited the store.
Later, I explained why I said yes. Watching her admire herself in the mirror, I realized she wasn’t just looking at her shoes—she was envisioning her future self, filled with confidence and beauty. For years, she has lamented being too old for childish things but too young for adult fun. Those cork wedges represented hope for her.
I also felt it was crucial for her to make her own choices with her birthday money. I admit, walking through the mall with my 13-year-old in five-inch platforms makes me a bit self-conscious. I can’t help but wonder what other parents think and if they judge my decision.
Yet, she knows her sandals may be a bit much, but she’s always prided herself on marching to the beat of her own drum. (She even avoided reading the Harry Potter series just because it was so popular.)
The best part? As I walk beside my suddenly 5-foot-10 teenager, we share a laugh when she occasionally clings to my shoulder for stability. I try to maintain a straight face as she throws her arm around me, and we both know that while it seems outrageous, it’s also inconsequential. This shared experience has drawn us even closer together.
If you’re interested in learning more about navigating choices in parenting and personal expression, check out some of our other insightful articles, like this one on intracervical insemination. And if you’re considering at-home insemination, visit Make a Mom for quality insemination kits. For more information on pregnancy and home insemination, NHS is an excellent resource.
In summary, allowing my daughter to wear high heels has become a discussion about self-expression, confidence, and growing up. While I may feel uncertain at times, I recognize the significance of her choices and the bond we share during this transition.
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