I always knew this moment would arrive. But knowing doesn’t ease the pain. Grief has a way of being unyielding, regardless of how prepared you think you are. Deep down, a part of me clung to the hope that things would remain unchanged, that my children’s experiences would somehow echo my own. But reality has proven otherwise.
My father, who passed away over five years ago, was our beloved Tooth Fairy. It’s a charming tale that began 11 years ago when my oldest child was just starting preschool, long before the dark days of illness, frantic phone calls, and hospice care. Back then, my son was a curious little boy, eager to learn about the jobs of family members. That day in class, they discussed various professions—police officers, firefighters, accountants, and even writers. My father’s role, however, was a bit more complicated.
He was a dental technician, crafting dentures and partials for those who had lost their teeth. I tried my best to explain this to my son, and in an instant, he connected the dots: Grandpa made teeth for those who needed them, so clearly, he must be the Tooth Fairy! It made perfect sense through the eyes of a 4-year-old.
That evening, I shared the news with Dad, and he laughed heartily, embracing his new title. From that moment on, whenever my kids lost a tooth or faced a dental visit, they’d reach out to him. He was the calming voice for anxious children and the one who emphasized the importance of flossing. He was always the first call when a tooth was lost.
Then cancer came, stealing him away from us. Even in death, he retained his title, taking with him the last tooth lost on his watch, tucked away in his shirt pocket. The kids imagined he now had wings to go along with that tutu, making it all the more magical. Instead of phone calls, they began leaving him notes whenever a tooth fell out, hoping for a response.
This summer, my middle child lost her last baby tooth, and my eight-year-old son lost his third. My daughter had a special bond with Grandpa. She was his sweet, cuddly baby, and his death impacted her deeply. Yet, she always believed that as long as she had baby teeth, he would be around. When she lost her last molar, she left him one final note.
I don’t think the reality has fully settled in for her yet. Sometimes, she rushes to grow up, oblivious to what she’s leaving behind in her childhood. Perhaps it’s for the best; I won’t be the one to remind her.
Days later, her younger brother finally lost his third tooth. He has always been a bit late to the tooth-losing party, with stubborn roots that take time to budge. Once he lost his tooth, he followed tradition, placing it under his pillow. But to him, the Tooth Fairy is just that—the Tooth Fairy. Grandpa never existed in his memories; he was only 2 when my dad passed away, and any recollections he might have are merely echoes of stories and photographs.
I had to confront the hard truth: my youngest will not remember my dad. My heart sank as I realized that my children, especially the youngest, won’t have the memories of him that I cherish. For a brief moment, I considered keeping the Tooth Fairy myth alive, enlisting my older kids to share their tales, trying desperately to preserve a connection to my father. But I quickly recognized that this was more for my own sake than theirs.
I can’t burden them with my grief; it’s my journey, not theirs. So, I’ll quietly let go of this part of him. Thank you, Dad, for those magical years of sneaking around and leaving behind silver dollars, special notes, and treats. You truly were the best Tooth Fairy ever, but even the finest must eventually retire.
Love you, Dad.
In summary, this poignant reflection on loss highlights the bittersweet nature of growing up and the importance of cherishing memories. Although the Tooth Fairy may fade from my children’s lives, the love and laughter shared with their grandfather will forever remain in our hearts.
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