Parenting
“It’s hard to believe how much they’ve grown!” My partner was taken aback, yet it wasn’t as if they sprouted overnight. His astonished expression searched for answers in my eyes. “When did this even happen?”
I knew the answer. Like many significant life transitions, this one unfolded gradually over the years, though neither of us was eager to confront it. Personally, I had seen the signs long ago. The reality is, my initial experience as a parent never quite resonated with me. During those quieter moments, when we tackled mundane chores like laundry, we often found ourselves reminiscing about our little ones. What I had noticed evolving over time seemed to strike him only in this moment.
“I remember when I could hold them all in one hand, those tiny little beings,” he sighed. “Are they really gone for good?”
“Don’t be so dramatic,” I replied.
“I just miss them, that’s all.” A look of hurt crossed his face, as if my indifference had bruised him.
“I’m sorry, but when they were that small, they were a handful!” I couldn’t help but be honest. For some parents, it may have felt effortless, but for me, it was a constant challenge. Each day and night spent with little ones tugging at my patience? I could finally admit that to him.
“How can you say that?! They were so cute!” he countered.
“Maybe to you, but they were climbing all over me 24/7!”
“I know you see it differently, but I miss those days.” He gazed off, lost in nostalgia.
“I’m sure you do, but they always woke me up in the middle of the night! Ugh.” I rolled my eyes.
“They woke me up too,” he said, managing a smile.
“Do we need them around to feel fulfilled? Was that what kept us together?” I asked.
“No, that’s silly. They just added a certain… spice to our lives back then.”
“Spice? I can hardly remember those tiny moments; it’s all a blur.”
“I can remember everything,” he insisted.
“Well, do you remember how much it cost us?”
“Like it’s any cheaper now?” he shot back.
Our eyes met in silence, both of us caught in our perspectives. He was trying to persuade me, and I was wavering.
“We could start fresh,” he suggested, a playful grin on his face. “How about a new bunch?”
I stopped wavering. “No way! Have you seen these stretch marks?” I sighed. “Those days are long gone. And honestly, I never even wanted that last pair! It was a moment of weakness, just to please you. When I look at them, all I feel is regret!”
“Take that back!”
“I wish I could,” I quipped.
His face fell, confusion and defeat washing over him. Was he shocked by my bluntness?
I gently patted his shoulder, trying to soften the moment. “We can’t dwell on the past. We can only cherish the good memories we made.”
“Well, I do have photos,” he replied, a hint of sadness in his voice.
“Oh, come on—are you crying again?”
“No, but sometimes, when I see them now, I want to cry,” he admitted.
Taking his hands in mine, I urged him to understand, “Sure, it’s a massive adjustment for both of us, but I’m genuinely happier now. Don’t you see?”
“Massive,” he echoed.
“Yes, I know! But it was time to move on.” He stared at the laundry basket as if it held the answers. Talking to him felt like conversing with a wall.
“Anyway, I’m over 40,” I reminded him.
“So what? I’ve seen women way older—”
I interrupted, “As a man, you may never grasp what I feel right now. I’m done! And you weren’t the one caring for tiny beings for years. Now, it’s a different kind of relationship. They hug me instead of just clinging to me all day. I finally feel… free!”
I could see him struggling to comprehend. I pressed on, “You’ve always had that freedom. I don’t need your judgment; I need compassion and support.”
He looked at me with an air of resignation.
Suddenly, he picked up my oversized beige granny panties from the laundry basket. “I guess they were right when they said they really are only little once.”
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