This year, a powerful image circulated the internet of artist Mia Rivera, who managed to work while tandem breastfeeding her newborn twins. Her photo sent a strong message: motherhood doesn’t have to hinder professional aspirations. While I admire Mia’s determination, I can’t help but feel that this narrative isn’t addressing the core issues at play.
Mia shared her experience: “Even with the endless sleep deprivation and frequent nursing sessions that felt like they lasted forever, I was still accomplishing my tasks.” This was in response to a comment from a prominent artist, Janet Vale, who stated that motherhood would have been a disaster for her career. Vale suggested that many talented women miss out on significant roles because they choose love and family over ambition.
While Vale’s perspective lacks nuance, it does hold some truth. The underlying message isn’t that women simply don’t want to give up family for success; it’s that they often feel they have to. The relentless pressure to perform leads many women to return to work before they’ve had a chance to heal physically and emotionally. They often spend their entire paycheck on childcare, feeling the weight of sacrifice, even if it goes unspoken.
Mia continues, “Motherhood, especially with twins, has forced me to become more efficient with my time and prioritize what truly matters, all while multitasking like a pro.” But do we really want to be seen as superhuman? Absolutely not. We’re pushed into this role because of a lack of support systems. If we take a break, we risk being perceived as less competent. Thus, we juggle the immense challenges of new motherhood alongside our professional lives.
I remember the day after my own C-section, pitching ideas from my hospital bed. My editor praised my “amazing” work ethic, but I didn’t want to be labeled as amazing. As a freelancer, I had no other option; if I didn’t work, I wouldn’t earn a living.
In the U.S., we stand out as the only industrialized nation without mandated paid maternity leave. This glaring absence of support leaves mothers to fend for themselves. Instead of uniting to advocate for real change, we often find ourselves debating the impossible question of whether we can truly “have it all.”
Mia states, “It’s disheartening when women generalize personal experiences that only reinforce negative stereotypes.” Yet, these aren’t mere stereotypes. Every mother needs support, not just those who can afford extra help. The idea that sheer perseverance can lead to success is misleading and does nothing to uplift those struggling.
Countries like the UK provide 39 weeks of paid leave, while Australia offers 18 weeks, and Canada extends that to a full year. In Sweden, parents can access 480 days of paid leave. In contrast, the U.S. offers the Family Medical Leave Act, which only guarantees 12 weeks of unpaid leave, which is hardly sufficient for new parents.
Mia reflects, “If you embrace the chaos and find creative solutions, you might come out better on the other side.” But more often than not, mothers emerge feeling drained and overwhelmed, questioning their choices and the societal structures that fail them. Why is it that billionaires reap tax benefits while the rest of us struggle to keep afloat?
“I’m just trying to live my life within my limitations, and people should respect that,” Mia explains. I couldn’t agree more. Just because some women manage to navigate the chaos doesn’t mean it’s ideal or even sustainable.
For me, landing a job that allows me to work from home with full benefits has been a rare stroke of luck. However, I’ve battled through depression, anxiety, and financial instability to reach this point. Each day, I face the nagging feeling that having children has pushed me into a precarious financial situation, leaving me constantly stressed about money.
It’s time for reform, and we need it urgently. Just because some manage doesn’t mean we should accept the status quo. We are failing mothers and families, and it’s unacceptable. A viral photo and some hashtags won’t create the change we need.
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In summary, new motherhood shouldn’t require superhuman strength just to keep a career afloat. The lack of systemic support for mothers is a significant issue that needs to be addressed urgently.
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