Last school year was quite the adventure for my family. I was nearing the end of my pregnancy with my fourth child and juggling school runs for my other kids, all while navigating a commute of 25 miles. Trust me, if there had been a school bus, I would have jumped at the chance to avoid a headline like “Mom Gives Birth on the Highway.” With our new home almost ready, I felt it was best for the kids to start school where we’d eventually settle down in sunny California. I was determined to avoid switching schools twice, and now, I can confidently say it was the right choice. However, with the baby’s imminent arrival, I found myself rarely leaving the car during drop-offs.
Even after the baby was born, I continued to stay put in the car for drop-offs and pickups. Just the thought of getting out felt like scaling a mountain. I was so exhausted and sleep-deprived that the idea of mingling with other parents felt like an impossible task. The car seat in my SUV became my only source of comfort during this chaotic time.
School drop-offs and pickups coincided with my most drained moments of the day. Because of this, I didn’t make the effort to connect with other moms—be it the soccer moms, the crafty moms, the PTA moms, or even the “bad” moms. Little did I know, I was missing out on invaluable connections. If you’re underestimating the importance of having these moms in your life, think again.
During the Summer Olympics, I frequently heard Maya Angelou’s poem “Human Family” play. The line “We are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike” resonated deeply with me. While each mom has her own unique narrative, we share common paths through the journey of motherhood. From those who have faced challenges to those who have had smoother rides, we’ve all traveled different roads leading us to this point. Whether our children came into our lives through natural childbirth, C-sections, surrogacy, or adoption, the experience of motherhood is profound. Some have bravely navigated fertility struggles or dealt with loss, and regardless of our situations, we’ve all made it here together.
With that in mind, it’s essential for moms to make an effort to step out of the car during school drop-offs and engage with one another. Here are four reasons to do just that this school year:
1. Cultivating Your Community
Parenting is no easy feat, and whether you’re a stay-at-home mom or balancing a job, growing your tribe is crucial. With two of my kids now in school, I’ve committed to getting out of my car to connect with other inspiring moms. I want to know who I can share a glass of wine with, who I might lean on during tough times, and who I can cheer on in this beautiful chaos of motherhood. Plus, let’s not forget the super-organized moms who send out reminders for spirit days—those connections are invaluable. We’ll be in this together for at least the next decade, and forming a supportive community will only strengthen us.
Today, I approached drop-off with a renewed enthusiasm, ready to bond with other moms who share the same journey. Despite how many times I’ve experienced the first-day-of-school drop-off, I still feel a flutter of nerves. Who is this first day really about? Smiles were exchanged, phone numbers were shared, and just like that, my community grows. I left feeling a wonderful sense of belonging, and best of all, I’ve already scheduled a coffee date with one of the moms. Don’t take the easy way out by remaining in your car—trust me, park your vehicle, walk your kids to school, and meet your new squad because “we are more alike, my friends, than we are unalike.”
2. Be a Helping Hand
No mom is perfect, and we all need support from time to time. Living far from my family, I’ve come to view the parents of my kids’ classmates as my extended family. We all need each other! Whether it’s help with school runs, information on teachers, or supplies for themed school days, having a network of contacts is essential. More importantly, what if someone needs my help? I want to be the mom who steps up to assist others. It brings me joy to support fellow parents, and that’s the legacy I want to leave behind.
3. Strengthening Your Community
As a newcomer to this community, I spent last year in survival mode, hardly speaking to anyone. I could barely recall the names of my children’s friends. That’s no longer the case! I want my family to be engaged in community events and activities. If I hadn’t stepped out of the car today, I wouldn’t have discovered a mom organizing a donation drive for a family in need. I also learned about a morning running club our principal is launching to encourage parents and kids to get active before school. I’m all in! I love being part of this community.
4. Be a Role Model
While it’s important for me to feel good, my workout can wait until later. My kids come first. Missing that 8 a.m. fitness class is a small price to pay for quality time with them. They’re thrilled to have me back in their lives, and I want to model this involvement for them. I want them to embrace this commitment and one day do the same for their own kids. Seeing their excitement when I walk them to class is what matters most. Who knows how long they’ll want me there? I’ll cherish every moment.
Strapping my baby into a carrier while holding my 4-year-old’s hand during drop-off has been wonderful for all of us. Even though my younger two are left behind, they’ll be part of this soon enough. I want them to prioritize each other, and I know my efforts are paying off when I hear them say, “You’re the best, mom.”
I consider it a win to manage to park the car at least three out of five school days. Whether it’s helping out in classrooms or simply giving my kids a hug, I am determined to be present. I’m ready to step into the parenting world, introduce myself, and lend a helping hand. As C.S. Lewis wisely stated, “Children are not a distraction from more important work. They are the most important work.”
To dive deeper into the nuances of motherhood and community, check out our other blog posts, including this insightful piece on Cervical Insemination. For those considering at-home insemination, Make a Mom offers reputable syringe kits to help you on your journey. Additionally, if you’re looking for information on fertility and insurance, UCSF’s fertility insurance FAQ is an excellent resource.
In summary, stepping out of your car at school drop-off can lead to stronger connections, building your community, and being a role model for your children. Don’t underestimate the power of these small interactions—they could make all the difference.
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