When my eldest son, Alex, got his driver’s license, I did what most modern, well-meaning parents would do: I installed a GPS tracking app on his phone. After all, many family cell plans include these apps, so I figured, why not? It was all about safety; being able to see his location would ease my worries about whether he had arrived at his destinations safely. I quickly noticed I wasn’t alone in this mindset, as there are countless teen driving apps available. Some can notify parents if their child unlocks their phone while driving, others track speed, and some even read aloud the texts sent to them. You can even stealthily install a GPS device on their car if it lacks one.
Excitedly, I uploaded various apps for teen driving safety to both our phones, sending him off into the world, convinced that raising an independent teenager would be a breeze under my watchful eye. But two weeks later, I deleted all of them.
While the idea behind GPS trackers and speed monitors is appealing, they can quickly become more of a burden than a blessing. I found myself glued to my phone, obsessively checking a blinking icon on a map, anxious to confirm that Alex was where he claimed to be. In a misguided attempt to safeguard him, I lost sight of trust and faith, essentially placing a metaphorical ankle monitor on my own child. He hadn’t done anything wrong; he was simply born into a world where such technology exists.
Initially, I craved that peace of mind, but soon it became clear that I didn’t want to live this way. I decided it was time to channel my inner free-range parent and start trusting my teenager. Cold turkey, I let go of the GPS tracking. This was one of the toughest parenting decisions I’d ever made, especially since many other parents I knew were still happily tracking their kids’ every move.
So there I was, taking the leap of faith and waiting for Alex to come home from practice without the comfort of knowing where he was at every moment. It felt risky to rely on a 17-year-old, whose brain is still developing. However, it felt right. I understood that this was my way of letting him begin to spread his wings. I chose to trust my son rather than a tracking app.
Fast forward, and Alex is now in college, four hours away. Although the temptation to reactivate the GPS was strong, I resisted. I’m among the few college moms I know who don’t track their child’s every move on campus. Instead, I’ve opted to let him navigate his new world—without constant oversight.
It’s a struggle, this desire to stay connected, especially during significant transitions like moving to college, joining the armed forces, or settling into a first apartment. The instinct to know what they’re doing and where they are is almost magnetic. Yet, there’s also a profound need to allow them to grow apart, learn to manage their lives, and face challenges without an audience. My support will always be there, but now it will come from a distance.
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In conclusion, despite the allure of technology, I chose to prioritize trust over constant surveillance as my son navigates his journey into adulthood. It wasn’t easy, but it was necessary for both of us.
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