Ah, the joys of parenting a “threenager.” My youngest, Max, has been quite the character lately. After sailing through the terrible twos, I thought I had dodged a bullet. But as he approaches three and three-quarters, it seems a switch has flipped. The volume of his opinions and the intensity of his meltdowns have skyrocketed. Honestly, sometimes I just want to shake some sense into him. He seems to have created his own personal list of grievances, and it’s time for him to CTFD about them.
Here’s a rundown of the top things on Max’s list. Sure, he’s just three, but some of these concerns are downright ludicrous.
- Candy
I understand the allure. Candy is colorful, sweet, and often irresistible. But when the requests start at 6 a.m. and continue all day until I finally relent after dinner, it’s a bit much. The constant begging is exhausting. - His Penis
Ah, the fascination with anatomy. Max has discovered his little friend and seems determined to show it off at every opportunity. The other day, he was wearing underwear (a rarity), yet he still managed to find a way to expose himself while jumping around. “Can you please put that away?” I asked. His response? “But it’s so beautiful, Mommy.” What can you say to that? - “Helping”
Max loves to lend a hand, especially when it comes to cleaning. Unfortunately, his idea of cleaning means spraying soap everywhere, turning the floor into a slippery mess. Thanks for the effort, kiddo, but I have more cleanup to do now! - How I Cut Up His Nuggets
The other day, I dared to serve his chicken nuggets whole, and oh boy, did the world come crashing down. The following day, I cut them up, and he threw an even bigger tantrum. It’s like trying to solve a puzzle with no solution. - YouTube Toy Videos
First, it was those bizarre “Surprise Egg” videos. Now, he’s obsessed with those obnoxious toy unboxing videos where someone narrates in the most grating voice. No, thank you. - His Brother’s Possessions
If his older brother touches anything, it immediately becomes Max’s prized possession. “I want that cheese sandwich!” even if he detests cheese sandwiches. If he doesn’t get it, we’re in for a 45-minute floor-screeching session. - The Bread and Cereal Food Group
Max used to be a decent eater, but that was before he declared that only bread and cereal are acceptable. Tonight, he insisted on pita chips for dinner. When I told him that wasn’t enough, he retorted, “In your imagination, it counts!” - Cleaning Up After Potty Time
My newly potty-trained boy is surprisingly meticulous. He insists on using three squares of toilet paper followed by a baby wipe after peeing. Why? Who knows! I just know I’ll be wiping his bottom until he goes to college. - Food Contact
When he does eat something other than bread or bagels, heaven forbid the food touches on his plate! If it does, you might as well call the fire department. - Shopkins
Initially, I was baffled by these tiny plastic toys. However, I must admit they are starting to grow on me. But if I have to hear him whine about losing one more, I might just lose it! - Wetness
Why is it that Max can’t handle anything wet? He’ll declare his toast “too wet” while he soaks himself during handwashing. When I point out the bathroom is “too wet,” he looks at me like I’m speaking a foreign language. - Clothing
Max treats clothing like a prison sentence. He’ll wear it for guests or when leaving the house but as soon as we’re home, it’s off! The other day, he panicked after realizing he still had his clothes on. “Oh no! I left my clothes on by accident!” Classic.
Despite the chaos, I can’t help but find humor in Max’s antics. I hope this phase passes soon. I know he’s just learning to assert himself, which is crucial for his development, but I wish it wouldn’t be so loud and relentless.
If you’re navigating similar experiences, check out this informative post on Cervical Insemination for more insights. And if you’re looking for a reliable At-home insemination syringe kit, Make a Mom is a great resource. For broader information on pregnancy, visit the World Health Organization for excellent resources.
In summary, parenting a threenager can be a wild ride filled with unexpected twists and turns. While each day presents new challenges, it’s also a time filled with laughter and learning.
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