Every woman should have the autonomy to decide whether to dedicate her life—or even her body—to nurturing another being. Whether it’s a 35-year-old woman who opts not to have children, a 15-year-old lacking access to contraceptives, or a 23-year-old hesitant to tie herself to a fleeting romance, each should have the right to say “no” regarding what happens within their bodies, regardless of the context.
This belief has been a part of my ethos since I first joined the conversation. When I expressed my pro-choice stance to those who disagreed, the responses were typically mild, ranging from “You’ll change your mind once you have kids” to “You’re still young.” As someone who tends to be more reserved, I rarely pushed back against these assertions.
When I discovered I was pregnant, the embryo inside me was no larger than a poppy seed. It wouldn’t develop into a “fetus” for another month, but if I had chosen to reject that path for my life, I would have faced a barrage of political agendas complicating my decision. Yes, those cells are alive, but so are the cells on my skin, and no one protests when I exfoliate.
Now that I’m older and a proud mother to a child I wanted, planned for, and deeply cherish, I can confidently declare that my feelings have evolved. I have even more reasons to advocate for pro-choice principles.
The Reality of Pregnancy
For one, I didn’t feel an instant bond with my baby when that second line appeared on the pregnancy test. My husband and I had meticulously prepared for this moment—we read books, consulted doctors, and listened to experienced parents. The cliché that I would instantly become a mother upon discovering my pregnancy turned out to be misleading.
While I loved the concept of starting a family and the thrilling challenge ahead, I didn’t have an emotional connection to the tiny cluster of cells just yet. Instead, I faced a wave of nausea and fatigue—two of the many sacrifices I had to make for the chance to meet my little one. Those sacrifices led me to a stark realization: I wouldn’t endure this if we hadn’t desperately wanted a baby.
My career took a hit. My friendships were strained. My health, finances, and overall happiness suffered. To cope, I reminded myself of the positives: I had a stable, loving partner; the pregnancy was planned and healthy; and I had no major complications. However, this mental exercise only reinforced my understanding that if my situation had been different, I might have considered my options.
The Complexity of Choices
Being pro-choice added complexity to the sobering truth of pregnancy—the fragility of those early weeks. Eager to share our joy, my husband and I announced our pregnancy at just six weeks instead of waiting until after the risk of miscarriage dropped around 12 weeks. While our close friends and family celebrated, some displayed caution, subtly urging us to temper our excitement.
I recognize that I often engage with individuals who share my pro-choice views. Additionally, I became pregnant during a time when reproductive rights were under intense scrutiny, making heated debates about personhood more common. It was eye-opening to witness how divided public opinion was; while some would condemn a woman for choosing an abortion, others urged caution in celebrating a pregnancy.
When I thought I was experiencing a miscarriage at eight weeks, I cried for the potential loss of my future family. I grappled with the reality that, as a pro-choice woman having a planned baby, I had the right to mourn the loss of my embryo, while someone else might view those same cells merely as a medical condition. Thankfully, I delivered a healthy baby seven months later, and I never had to navigate those complexities beyond contemplation.
Understanding Pro-Choice
Being pro-choice doesn’t equate to being pro-abortion. It’s about ensuring that women have the right to decide not to continue a pregnancy without facing judgment. It also means that those who choose to have children should feel free to celebrate or grieve their decisions, regardless of the timing related to legal abortion limits.
Now, as I watch my vibrant five-month-old son grow, I remain steadfast in my pro-choice beliefs. The joy of motherhood doesn’t make me question my pregnancy experience or redefine when life begins. I’m grateful for the ability to choose the right time to expand our family, which has been a blessing for my husband, our son, and me.
If you’re interested in more about fertility options and choices, check out this informative blog post. For those looking for reliable products, Make a Mom offers excellent at-home insemination syringe kits. Additionally, UCSF’s resource on IVF is invaluable for anyone navigating pregnancy and home insemination.
Conclusion
In summary, my pregnancy journey has deepened my pro-choice convictions, emphasizing the importance of autonomy and choice for all women. Whether it’s celebrating the joys of motherhood or recognizing the complexity of reproductive decisions, every woman deserves respect and support in her choices.
Leave a Reply