When You Feel Like You’re Falling Short as a Friend

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Confession time: I used to completely overlook the value of my friendships. Back in the day, my friends were just part of my life—always around. We played sports, chatted in class, and shared our crushes. We were inseparable as we navigated the ups and downs of love, life choices, and the pursuit of our dreams.

Fast forward to today, and life looks a lot different. I’ve got a husband, kids, and a job that often feels like a never-ending battle with laundry. Juggling these responsibilities means I have to creatively carve out time for my friends, often involving meticulous scheduling and color-coded calendars. I’ve even pretended to exercise just to squeeze in a moment with them. Our conversations have pivoted, too—we’re no longer gossiping about boyfriends but strategizing how to manage our sons’ potty training.

As we transition into this new phase, friendships can become more complex. Life is no longer just about cocktails and college finals; it’s filled with weightier matters like aging parents, approaching teenagers, and the daily grind of dinner prep. Despite being there for each other, I sometimes feel like I’m not living up to the friend I aspire to be, with my time constantly being consumed by the chaos of motherhood.

We All Stumble in Our Roles as Friends

We all stumble in our roles as friends from time to time because:

• We miss calls when a friend really needs us, buried under parenting duties.
• We don’t always offer the best advice when they seek our input.
• At times, we share too much when we should be listening, eager to engage in adult conversation.
• We forget birthdays or important events.
• We get so wrapped up in our lives that we overlook significant happenings in our friends’ lives.
• We might feel hurt when excluded from events we might not have attended anyway.
• We hold onto grudges that are trivial.
• We sometimes create unnecessary drama in our minds.
• We drift apart or even lose friendships due to our inability to be there for one another.

Yet, We Excel as Friends

Yet, amidst these challenges, we also have to celebrate how we excel as friends:

• We listen, often more attentively than our partners.
• We keep secrets safe, respecting each other’s vulnerabilities.
• We discuss the important stuff—family, work, and yes, even Spanx.
• We share genuine laughter, understanding the realities behind the smiles we present on social media.
• We remind each other of our beauty, which is vital for our spirits.
• We notice the little changes, whether it’s a new outfit or a shift in demeanor.
• We uplift each other, leaving those interactions feeling more empowered.
• When Google can’t help, we’re just a call away, sharing experiences from our own parenting challenges.
• We make time despite the busyness of life.
• We forgive each other because we understand the trials we all face.

I look forward to the day when we’re all 80, free from the weight of our current worries. We’ll still chat about boys—just likely in a different context—and we’ll raise a glass to the fact that we did our best through it all.

For more relatable insights, check out our other blog post here, which delves into the realities of motherhood. If you’re considering starting a family, you can also explore reputable options like at-home insemination kits available from trusted sources such as Make A Mom. Additionally, for comprehensive information on pregnancy and home insemination, visit the CDC’s pregnancy resource page.

In conclusion, while we may feel like we’re falling short at times, it’s essential to recognize the ways we continue to support and uplift our friendships amidst the chaos of life.