As a parent, I’ve transitioned from the “old-school” methods I experienced growing up to a style that fits my family’s dynamic. Just like many of you, I’ve blended traditional approaches with modern sensibilities. In our household, there’s no designated head of the family; we’re all equally tired and no one wants extra responsibilities. Decision-making is a group effort, and everyone has to contribute—well, everyone except the baby, who is, after all, just a baby. And the cats? They’re just plain lazy.
Despite the evolution in parenting styles, some timeless principles still resonate with me. Here are twelve classic techniques that guide my parenting journey:
- I Don’t Play with My Kids.
My parents didn’t engage in playtime; they were busy working, and I learned to entertain myself. While I occasionally indulge in Play-Doh sculptures or tea parties (who doesn’t love a good tea party?), my primary focus is getting chores done. After all, that’s part of why we have multiple kids—so they can entertain each other! - We Don’t Shield Our Kids from Mistakes.
Life is about choices, and making decisions is essential for growth. Whether it’s selecting an ice cream flavor or navigating more significant choices, we encourage our kids to decide for themselves. If they choose a flavor they don’t like, they’ll either have to eat it or not get a new cone. Life’s lessons often come from our mistakes, and we let our kids learn early on—unless they’re about to make a harmful choice. - They Have Chores.
This isn’t just about earning an allowance; it’s about understanding responsibility. From picking up toys to helping with laundry, our children are learning that to enjoy privileges like screen time or new toys, they need to contribute. - We Aren’t Their Friends.
We’re their parents, not their pals. While we do have fun together and foster an environment of support and guidance, the relationship is fundamentally different. We’re here to teach, guide, and ensure they understand that while we love them, there are boundaries. - No Quitting.
Once they commit to an activity, they need to see it through. Whether it’s a sport, a chore, or even just a snack choice, they must learn that finishing what they start is crucial. - Accepting Responsibility for Actions.
Mistakes happen, and when they do, it’s essential to acknowledge them. I believe in leading by example; when I make a mistake, I apologize to my kids. This teaches them that accountability is vital. - Consistently Follow Through.
If I say there will be consequences for certain behaviors, I must enforce them. This teaches them that actions have consequences, just like in the workplace. It’s not about being harsh; it’s about being consistent. - Encourage Their Independence.
As much as I cherish their childhood, I know they need to learn to do things for themselves. I assist with tasks like brushing teeth or putting on shoes, but I expect them to take initiative. - I Don’t Get Involved in Arguments.
Conflict resolution is a skill they need to learn. I won’t always be there to mediate, so I encourage them to work it out among themselves. Unless, of course, a serious issue arises, then I’ll step in. - We Respect Our Elders (and Everyone Else).
Diversity in opinions and lifestyles is a fact of life. Teaching respect for others fosters empathy and opens doors for meaningful relationships. - Respect Family Time.
Family meals without distractions like TV are sacred. We share our daily experiences, and these moments help build our family bond and create lasting memories. - Instill the Importance of Hard Work.
While it’s tempting to give kids everything they want, learning the value of hard work is essential. Nothing worthwhile is handed out without effort. The satisfaction of achieving something through hard work far outweighs the temporary happiness of instant gratification.
Encouraging our children to navigate the world effectively is a shared responsibility, whether you subscribe to old-school methods or new techniques. What truly matters is that we put in the effort. Children must learn that choices have consequences—like how opting for black walnut ice cream over bubblegum means they can’t just swap flavors without cost. Life has rules, and understanding that is key to their growth.
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Summary:
Adopting parenting techniques from previous generations can prove beneficial in raising children today. By instilling values of responsibility, independence, and hard work, we prepare our kids for the real world while maintaining strong family bonds. Through consistent practices like chores, accountability, and respecting family time, we cultivate an environment that values growth and learning.
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