Dear Family,
We cherish you and value the role you play in our lives and in the lives of our children. Your presence is important to us, and we genuinely want you to be part of our family’s journey. However, to enhance our relationships and create enjoyable experiences together, we need to establish a few guidelines for our interactions. These aren’t harsh rules or criticisms; instead, think of them as proactive steps to foster positive connections between us and our kids.
We’re not upset; we simply need your support.
Guidelines for Positive Interactions
DO NOT pressure our children to hug you, or make them feel guilty for not wanting to. While you might see a hug as a sign of affection, our children may not feel that way, especially if they don’t see you often. We emphasize the importance of bodily autonomy, teaching them that it’s okay to express their comfort levels. A friendly high-five or a warm “hello” is just as meaningful and respects their boundaries.
DO keep gift-giving in moderation during holidays. We appreciate your thoughtfulness and generosity, but we encourage gifts that create experiences rather than just accumulating more items. Annual passes to local attractions like zoos or children’s museums can provide joy for the whole family. Toys are wonderful, but please consider options that won’t clutter our home, especially the flashy plastic ones that make noise!
DO offer to take our kids out individually. One-on-one outings, like a trip to the ice cream shop or a visit to the park, can forge lasting memories. These experiences help strengthen your bond with them, and their siblings will likely be envious of the special time spent together.
DO engage them beyond surface-level questions. Instead of just asking, “How’s school?” try to delve into their interests. Even young children have passions, whether it’s a favorite show like Doc McStuffins or a love for building with Legos. Your genuine curiosity about their hobbies—like playing with their toys or watching their favorite episodes—will leave a lasting impression.
DO NOT contradict our parenting methods in front of the kids. If we set a bedtime, please don’t suggest they can stay up longer. This only undermines our authority and may affect how they view your role as a relative. If you want to propose a later bedtime, approach us privately for a discussion.
DO support our parenting choices. If we ask our child to behave, feel free to reinforce that message. Your input can help them realize the importance of listening to their parents. Just make sure to wait for us to address the behavior first, as stepping in prematurely can put us in an awkward position.
DO discipline in a way that aligns with our values when we’re not present. If you’re aware of our discipline methods—like using words to express feelings or time-outs—please stick to those. Please refrain from using methods we disapprove of, such as spanking, as this can severely strain our relationship.
DO recognize that kids are, well, kids. Their behavior can be unpredictable, especially in challenging situations like waiting in long lines. Expect some chaos; it’s a normal part of childhood. They might even do something embarrassing, like creating a mess. Remember, this doesn’t mean they’re misbehaving out of spite; they’re just being kids.
By following these guidelines, we can foster a healthy environment for everyone—parents, kids, and relatives alike. We truly love you and are excited to create wonderful memories together. Let’s work as a team to make the most of our time together.
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In summary, let’s all work together to create a loving atmosphere where our children can thrive and our family bonds can deepen.
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