23 Signs That the Honeymoon Phase Has Ended

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When I first started dating my husband, we were the quintessential couple, practically inseparable. We found joy in the simplest of activities together—grocery shopping, paying bills side by side, and even working out. As we explored our new city after college, it felt like everything revolved around “us.” Honestly, it’s a wonder our friends didn’t stage an intervention to break up our constant lovey-dovey antics. We were just that cute.

The honeymoon phase continued beautifully into our marriage. Cooking gourmet meals together and relaxing on our porch, we’d dream about a future filled with little feet running across our newly refinished hardwood floors. Love was in the air, and we were still adorably smitten.

However, with the arrival of our first child, we quickly learned that keeping the romance alive would take some work. Let’s face it—there’s nothing particularly romantic about pumping breast milk at the kitchen table while your husband enjoys breakfast. After a few years of marriage, reality set in; I had to accept that he could clear a bathroom faster than any zoo exhibit, and he had to come to terms with the fact that watching me put on a sports bra wasn’t exactly a turn-on.

Now, after 17 years of marriage, the nature of romance has evolved. While we may not have candlelit dinners every night, we share a deep connection that includes me binge-watching Orange Is the New Black while he snores like a jet engine next to me. Yes, the honeymoon phase is definitely over, and here are some signs that might indicate yours is too:

1. The last New Year’s Eve celebration you attended was for Y2K.
2. Your efforts to impress his mother have come to a halt.
3. Your Christmas tree is decked with gifts you bought for yourself, and you’re genuinely excited about those fleece leggings.
4. The ultimate romantic gesture has become a new water heater installed just in time for Valentine’s Day.
5. Let’s not forget: courtesy flushes are now part of your daily routine.
6. You’ve gone to bed angry a time or two since the wedding—let’s be real, it’s more like 562 times.
7. The thrill of being called “Mrs.” has worn off.
8. You’ve considered hosting a “Replace the Broken Wedding Appliances” party for your 10th anniversary.
9. Forget flowers and chocolates; the quickest way to your heart is him emptying the dishwasher without being asked.
10. “I’ll handle bedtime” is now your version of foreplay.
11. When you see a young couple kissing in public, you both roll your eyes.
12. You haven’t been to a wedding in 15 years.
13. “Dinner and a movie” has turned into Netflix and takeout.
14. You shop for underwear at Costco and feel no shame about it.
15. Love notes on the bathroom mirror have been replaced with texts like “Bring home milk or don’t bother coming back.”
16. When you call him “Pooh Bear,” it’s actually about a stuffed animal.
17. He no longer jokes about inviting extra guests to join you in bed.
18. “Clothing optional days” are now reserved for your toddler.
19. You come home from a run with only one coffee from Starbucks.
20. He doesn’t pretend to notice when you change your hair or wear a new dress anymore.
21. You both find it perfectly normal to engage in personal grooming side by side—like him trimming his nose hairs while you clip your toenails.
22. You shoot him the stink eye when he tries to join you in the shower; come on, it’s the only place you can escape the kids’ whining!
23. Candles are only lit during power outages or when he’s turned the bathroom into a disaster zone.

These days, I no longer crave the grand romantic gestures of my youth. I’m content if the laundry actually makes it to the basket and the dishes are put away. While I do sometimes miss the surprise flowers, I appreciate the honesty and comfort of our relationship. He’s seen me in all my glory—the good, the bad, and the downright ugly—and still gives me those bedroom eyes, even when I’m in those cozy leggings he gifted me.

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In summary, while the spark of the honeymoon phase may fade, the depth of your connection can continue to grow in unexpected, yet comforting ways.