When a parent leaves for the weekend, it can be a daunting experience for the one left behind—especially if that parent usually handles most of the childcare duties. Recently, Jessica Parker was preparing for a much-needed girls’ weekend getaway and decided to leave her husband, Mike, a cheeky list of “survival tips” that has since gone viral.
“I’m writing this with love, not panic,” she kicks off. “Before you dive into this weekend solo with the kids, let’s cover a few essentials. Whether it’s nighttime, daytime, or mealtime, things can easily spiral into chaos—think of it as a scene straight out of a horror movie, but with more glitter and tantrums.”
Jessica’s list details the everyday madness that only a parent who’s been in the trenches would know. “Prepare yourself for Quinn to be furious that Emma is wearing her favorite unicorn dress, while Emma throws a fit because Quinn insists on calling her a ‘mermaid.’ And don’t even get me started on nap time,” she warns.
“Dinner will be a battlefield. Jake will demand pizza, while Lily will want tacos. Quinn will burst into tears the moment you mention tacos, insisting on spaghetti (but not just any spaghetti; it has to be the ‘good’ kind). You’ll already be halfway through cooking for Lily when Quinn suddenly decides she wants chicken nuggets instead. Spoiler alert: everyone will end up eating cereal, and don’t be surprised if Lily comes over for a band-aid after a wild game of tag.”
While this note might appear daunting, it’s also a comforting reminder that chaos is a universal theme in parenting. As the letter draws closer to the dreaded bedtime, Jessica offers a comical yet supportive farewell: “Good luck, my friend.”
“Pajamas? Forget them. DO NOT even think about putting anything other than her unicorn nightgown on Emma. If you can’t find it, keep searching; she’ll go bananas if you try anything else. You might think she’ll be fine in her butterfly jammies, but trust me, you’ll be in for a meltdown. Just dig up that unicorn one—even if it’s been through a week’s worth of mud puddles. Honestly, who can keep track of laundry?”
At this point, many parents might find themselves wishing for a “Forget Pajamas” coffee mug or T-shirt. Mike might be looking for a cozy nook to hide in as he braces for the weekend ahead.
The note continues with more survival strategies, detailing breakfast challenges and the reality that he’ll have to endure this circus day after day. “Oh, and just so you know, if you’re hoping to get anything done, prepare for a marathon of interruptions. Quinn will cry every few minutes, and Emma will act like her world is ending if she doesn’t have a snack every 4.5 seconds. Stock up on backup snacks and prepare for a treasure hunt—trust me, she’ll misplace all her sippy cups.”
If this list is any indication, Jessica has certainly earned her weekend away. She signs off with, “Kisses, The Wife.”
For more parenting insights and tips, check out this post that dives into the joys and challenges of raising kids. If you’re considering home insemination, a reputable source for quality kits can be found at this link. Additionally, the Cleveland Clinic offers a wealth of information on intrauterine insemination.
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