Ah, the joys of modern technology! Who wouldn’t want a Roomba gliding effortlessly across their floors, keeping the house spotless while you catch some Z’s? You set it free in the evening, and wake up to a sparkling home. Sounds perfect, right? But throw a pile of fresh dog poop into the mix, and you’ve got a recipe for disaster, as one unfortunate dad recently discovered.
Meet Ryan Peterson, an average guy who had a less-than-average experience with his robotic vacuum. “Last week, a tragic event unfolded in my home that I’m still trying to comprehend,” he shares, diving into a story that’s equal parts hilarious and horrifying. He’s dubbed the incident “The Poopocalypse,” and trust me, it’s as messy as it sounds.
Imagine this: It’s 1:30 AM, and the house is quiet. You hear the gentle whir of the Roomba doing its job. But unbeknownst to you, it’s about to turn into a scene from a chaotic comedy. “If you own a Roomba, please listen closely,” Ryan warns. “Do not, under any circumstances, allow it to roll over dog poop. Because once it does, it will spread that poop to every corner of your living space, turning your home into a grotesque art installation.”
When Ryan’s four-year-old son crawled into his bed at 3:00 AM, he thought it was just an ordinary night. But the smell that wafted into his nostrils quickly shattered that illusion. “You start to notice the floor feels gritty, and then you see it – a brown-encrusted, Roomba-shaped disaster, glowing softly like it’s done something amazing. You’re still half-asleep until that moment jolts you awake,” he recalls.
Now, let’s take a moment to appreciate the gravity of this situation. Anyone with a dog knows that even the tiniest trace of poop can leave an unmistakable odor. So imagine the nightmare of having it smeared all over your living room. Ryan took the responsible route and cleaned his son first. “You scrub off the poop from his tiny feet and get him back to bed, knowing full well what awaits you next. You can’t just ignore the mess,” he explained.
Instead of crawling back into bed, Ryan rolled up his sleeves and prepared for battle. “You toss the Roomba into the bathtub for a soak and start taking it apart, wondering when you became the person who handles 3:30 AM Roomba disassemblies for poop cleanups. By now, the mess isn’t just on your hands – it’s up your elbows,” he says, laughing at the absurdity of it all. “You hear that sound – the Roomba’s death throes – and suddenly remember you forgot to remove the battery before getting it wet.”
Ryan’s frustration escalated into a whirlwind of creative profanity. “You’re not just cursing; you’re creating new words that would make even the devil cringe in horror. And you hope your kid stays in bed, because if he hears you, there’s no way he’s not going to end up in therapy,” he adds.
But the chaos didn’t end there. “Then it’s time to tackle the rug – the very rug that started this whole mess. You know it’s going in the trash, but you shampoo it anyway because you can already hear your wife asking if you even tried to clean it,” he laments.
What follows involves a mountain of paper towels, a steam mop, and yes, even a toothbrush. You can read the full, gut-busting account of Ryan’s misadventures in poop cleanup on our blog. Luckily, there’s a silver lining: after hearing his tale, Roomba decided to replace the $400 machine that had met its tragic fate.
“I called them and told the truth,” Ryan said. “My Roomba encountered dog poop and nearly started World War III.”
If you’re looking for more engaging stories like this, check out our post on Cervical Insemination. And for those considering at-home solutions, Make A Mom offers reputable kits for insemination. Additionally, IVF Babble is an excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination info.
In summary, sometimes technology doesn’t quite work out as intended, especially when pets are involved. Ryan’s harrowing yet humorous experience serves as a cautionary tale for all Roomba owners.
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