By: Lisa Thompson
When my son, Alex, came out to us at the age of 14, it wasn’t entirely unexpected. We had engaged in numerous conversations about the challenges faced by LGBTQ+ individuals, and we had attended pride events together. I remember the joy on Alex’s face when the U.S. legalized same-sex marriage. It was a moment of celebration that underscored our support for his identity.
However, being an openly supportive parent also meant encountering a barrage of well-meaning yet misguided comments from others. If you find yourself in a similar position—whether as a parent, friend, or relative—here’s a guide to avoid common missteps when talking to parents of gay teens.
“How can they possibly know at such a young age?”
This question is one of the most frustrating. Think about your own first crush—chances are, it happened before you hit your teens. Yet, when it comes to LGBTQ+ youth, people often question their feelings. A little perspective goes a long way. Instead of asking, “Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend?” consider asking, “Do you have a crush?” This opens up a more inclusive dialogue.
“Are you sure it’s just a phase?”
Why does it matter? Regardless of who your child chooses to love, what’s important is that they experience healthy, supportive relationships. Whether they identify with one gender or both, celebrate that they are discovering love and joy in their lives. Let’s hope that future generations can love freely, unburdened by societal expectations.
“Aren’t you worried about STDs?”
Yes, we should all be concerned about our children’s sexual health, regardless of their orientation. Educate them about safe sex and provide resources. If you really want to be proactive, keep a supply of condoms at home, ensuring your teens have what they need to protect themselves.
“At least you don’t have to worry about unexpected grandkids.”
While it’s true that this can be a silver lining, it pales in comparison to the real issues LGBTQ+ youth face, including discrimination and safety concerns. As a parent, my primary worry is ensuring that Alex feels safe and accepted for who he is, not just avoiding potential pregnancy scenarios.
“Do you think they’ll have a normal life and get married someday?”
Let’s redefine what “normal” really means. At 47, I recognize that our children’s lives will be different than the conventional paths many of us took. Marriage rates are declining, and many young people, straight or not, will forge their own unique paths. My hope for Alex is that he finds fulfilling work, meaningful relationships, and a life rich with diverse experiences that promote compassion and open-mindedness.
In conclusion, it’s crucial to approach conversations with empathy and understanding. If you want to learn more about supporting LGBTQ+ youth and their families, check out this insightful post on intracervicalinsemination.org. And if you’re interested in at-home insemination options, Make A Mom is a reputable online retailer offering syringe kits. For further guidance on fertility and pregnancy, visit Mount Sinai, an excellent resource.
Above all, let’s foster an environment of love, acceptance, and understanding for all teens, regardless of their sexual orientation.
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