Let’s be honest: my marriage isn’t as flawless as yours appears to be. After seven years and two kids, I’ve come to realize just how misleading social media can be. My news feed is flooded with declarations of undying love: “You’re my everything, darling!” “Together forever, my one and only!” “Our love gets stronger every single day!” It’s enough to make anyone wonder if they’re the only ones struggling.
Sometimes, I find myself clicking ‘like’ on these posts, thinking back to moments when I felt just as far from those sentiments as possible. Didn’t she just share about consulting divorce lawyers? And there are days I can’t imagine my husband shouting those things about me—much less me about him.
Is it just us? Surely we can’t be the only couple facing tough times, navigating stressful conversations, or even going to bed angry despite knowing we shouldn’t. Social media often amplifies this feeling of isolation, making us believe that everyone else has it all figured out.
A friend of mine recently put it perfectly: “You know 100% of your life, but on social media, you only share the best 5%: your child’s first steps, that amazing vacation, or your graduation. It’s exciting to see, but it sets us up for discouragement when we compare our entire life to just the highlights of others.”
So when the #LoveYourPartner challenge started trending, I initially felt intrigued but also a bit anxious. Amidst all the polished wedding photos and picture-perfect couples, I couldn’t help but think about all the times my husband and I had just argued over something silly, or how many moments felt far from romantic.
Don’t get me wrong; I’m not against these chain challenges completely—I’ve participated in a few myself. But for this one, I can’t just stick to the glossy highlights. Our reality is often messier than what you’d see on social media. If I were to share a week of photos that reflected our truth, here’s what it would look like:
Day 1 of the Love Your Partner Challenge
So, we bicker. A lot. It could be about anything—money, parenting styles, or the dishes piling up. Whatever it is, sometimes I just want to call a truce and stop talking. Today, I nominate any couple who’s had a disagreement this month to share their truth.
Day 2 of the Love Your Partner Challenge
We got lost again—thanks to my terrible sense of direction, even with GPS—and we’re running late. One child is dozing off while the other screams at the top of their lungs. I nominate any couple who’s ever taken a drive just to escape the chaos at home.
Day 3 of the Love Your Partner Challenge
Can a girl get a moment to enjoy a glass of wine? Nope? Maybe I can squeeze it in between those cluttered IPA cans. Today, I nominate anyone whose partner gives a thumbs-up for every selfie.
Day 4 of the Love Your Partner Challenge
It’s 3 a.m. and our baby is wailing. You can only fake sleep for so long before you have to play “Whose turn is it?” roulette. I nominate anyone who’s wished their partner could help out with nighttime feedings.
Day 5 of the Love Your Partner Challenge
Don’t worry, my partner is here—just stuck in California traffic and letting me know he might get home at a mythical hour. I nominate anyone who knows the feeling of being an “occasional single-married parent.”
Day 6 of the Love Your Partner Challenge
Our toddler is about to tumble down the stairs while another one is boiling over on the stove. We’re just passing ships in the night. I nominate any couple who’s attempted a quick high five while managing chaos.
Day 7 of the Love Your Partner Challenge
The kids are finally asleep, and you know what sounds sexy? Rest. Today, I nominate any couple who has ever taken “Netflix and Chill” to mean just that—chill.
The #LoveYourPartner challenge aims to “celebrate love and promote marriage,” and while I absolutely support championing love over hate, it’s crucial to also acknowledge that marriage isn’t just a fairy tale. It’s hard work, and it’s a daily choice—not just a sunny wedding day.
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In summary, let’s remember: marriage isn’t always perfect, and that’s okay. It’s the real moments—the ups and downs—that truly define our relationships.
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