Updated: September 5, 2023
Originally Published: August 9, 2016
It might be hard to hear, but if your child is acting like a brat, you may need to take a closer look at your parenting style. Yes, that includes your little one who is constantly whining and managing to get their way more often than not.
You’re undoubtedly trying your best as a parent. Perhaps your own upbringing lacked attention; your parents didn’t always know your whereabouts. Maybe your dad was clueless about your flute playing, or your mom missed your field hockey games due to work commitments. You’re determined to do better, to be more involved.
You want your child to feel cherished and significant, so you’re always on time for pick-ups, planning activities, and asking endless questions about their day. However, your desire to give them everything may be backfiring. Here’s how:
- We Negotiate Too Much
When your child asks for something, you might find yourself bargaining, saying, “I’ll buy that if you behave.” But when the behavior falters, you extend “one more chance,” which often morphs into several chances. While negotiation can be useful, there should be a clear line that, once crossed, ends the bargaining.
- We Clean Up After Them
It’s easier to tidy up when their room looks like a disaster zone, but by doing so, you’re sending a message that it’s acceptable to let someone else handle the mess. This fosters a sense of entitlement, contributing to their bratty behavior.
- We Carry Their Burdens
Yes, that backpack is heavy, but when you routinely shoulder the load, you’re making life too easy. Children need to learn to manage their own responsibilities, and that includes carrying their school supplies.
- We Let Them Dictate Dinner Plans
Remember when dinner was just what was served? It wasn’t a question of “What do you want to eat?” You were given what was made, and that was that. Today’s kids need to understand that sometimes they won’t get a say in every meal.
- Their Plans Take Priority
It’s perfectly fine to support your child’s activities, but you also need to assert that family commitments matter too. Letting their games take precedence over your plans can lead to an unhealthy dynamic.
- We Strive for Their Constant Happiness
Here’s a reality check: kids aren’t meant to be happy all the time. It’s crucial for them to learn that they won’t always get what they want. Whether it’s doing chores or spending time together, they need to understand that life isn’t always about their happiness.
- We Undermine Each Other
When parents don’t align on decisions, kids learn to play one parent against the other. A united front is critical for raising well-adjusted children.
- We Avoid Giving Them Responsibilities
If children aren’t contributing around the house, they should start. Chores help instill a sense of accountability and work ethic.
- We Make Excuses for Their Behavior
Tired and hungry are not valid excuses for bad behavior. If we don’t hold our kids accountable, they won’t learn the importance of responsibility and discipline.
- We Argue with Teachers and Coaches
While it’s natural to defend your child, it’s essential that they learn to advocate for themselves first. If teachers point out shortcomings, take it seriously. They are generally on your child’s side and want what’s best for them.
While being an involved parent is crucial, the approach matters. If you let your child negotiate everything, excuse their bad behavior, or make them too comfortable, you could be fostering entitlement. Sometimes, kids need to eat meals they don’t love—it builds character. For more insights on parenting and behavior, check out this link.
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In summary, your child’s behavior may reflect your parenting choices. By setting boundaries and expectations, giving them responsibilities, and ensuring they understand that life isn’t always about their whims, you can foster a more respectful and well-rounded individual.
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