Updated: November 26, 2021
Originally Published: August 5, 2016
When my first child, Lucas, was born, he was remarkably average in size, with his height and weight sitting comfortably between the 25th and 50th percentiles. He had these delightful chubby thighs that I still wish I could go back and squish! However, as he grew more active, those adorable thighs slimmed down, and he became quite petite. By the time we visited the pediatrician for his one-year checkup, he had slipped off the growth chart entirely, landing below the 5th percentile. The pediatrician, who was quite kind, reassured us that many kids slim down as they enter toddlerhood. She did, however, ask me to outline his dietary habits, posed numerous development questions, and assured us we’d monitor his growth over the coming years.
While I appreciated her concern, I couldn’t help but feel anxious as a new parent. I had been small at his age, too—skinny until I hit pre-puberty around 8 or 9, when I finally caught up to my peers. I developed curves long before others, eventually maintaining a healthy weight.
Lucas stayed in that 5th percentile through his early years, making shopping for pants a challenge. They had to be adjustable, and even then, they often slipped right off. Nonetheless, he was a vibrant, healthy child with an abundance of energy and a knack for learning—yes, I have to brag a little here! He was a picky eater, but his diet was decent for someone his age.
Then, just before his 8th birthday, everything changed. He experienced a significant growth spurt and suddenly wanted to eat everything in sight. His clothes became tight, and I noticed a cute little belly forming. It was endearing, but I could no longer pinch those adorable cheeks!
After switching pediatricians due to an insurance change the previous year, I was apprehensive about his upcoming check-up. When Lucas stepped on the scale, the new pediatrician exclaimed, “Wow, he’s gained 10 pounds. That’s fine, but it’s not a growth pattern we want to continue.” Really? I was taken aback. After years of being told my son was too small, now I was being given grief for him actually growing? It felt like a never-ending cycle of criticism.
And for goodness sake, please don’t say such things in front of my child! I was too flustered to respond effectively at the moment, though I wish I had. The pediatrician informed us that Lucas was now in the 50th percentile, cautioning us to keep him there. After a quick examination and some vaccinations, we left, and I hoped Lucas hadn’t absorbed her tone regarding his weight.
But he did. A few weeks later, he mentioned that the pediatrician said he was growing too quickly and might be getting fat. My heart sank. I told him he was perfect just as he was and that growing was a natural part of childhood. Sometimes kids experience rapid growth, and that’s entirely normal. That’s what the pediatrician should have communicated, not the vague warnings that left my son confused.
I was frustrated not just for myself but for the many parents I’ve spoken with who have been stressed about where their children fall on these growth charts. It makes me question whether these charts do more harm than good. Yes, some children may have growth issues that warrant concern, and we must address obesity with care and respect. However, fixating on numbers seems counterproductive and only adds unnecessary stress for both parents and kids.
I hold great respect for pediatricians and understand the dedication involved in their work to keep our children healthy. I ensure my children attend their well visits, and I’m incredibly grateful for the care they’ve received when issues arise. Yet, I feel there needs to be a shift in how pediatricians discuss growth with parents. Could we take a broader view of a child’s health? Are they happy? Meeting milestones? Is there a possibility they are just experiencing a growth spurt? Are they simply growing in their unique way?
Most importantly, we need to rethink how we discuss these numbers and how we approach growth, eating, and body image—especially in front of our kids. This issue extends beyond physical health; it touches on mental well-being, self-image, and confidence. It impacts children across the spectrum.
Instead of causing anxiety, let’s empower parents. We can adopt a holistic view of health, stepping away from rigid percentile charts. Every child is unique, with distinct bodies, appetites, and growth patterns. Parents have enough to worry about without being burdened by statistics that fuel comparisons and anxieties. A little common sense and empathy would go a long way.
In conclusion, we should advocate for a more compassionate approach to discussing children’s growth and health. It’s time we create an environment that prioritizes a child’s overall well-being over mere numbers.
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