Preparing Your Children for Life Beyond the Nest

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After nearly 15 years of marriage, I’ve gained quite a bit of insight into the distinct traits of boys and girls—at least within my own family dynamic. While I wouldn’t know how to navigate my way west if my life depended on it, my husband can’t seem to locate the mayonnaise in the fridge. I excel at being right more often than not, a trait he shares, unfortunately. My knowledge of car mechanics is nonexistent, and he barely knows anything about sports unless it involves some obscure fact from the Tour de France back in ’85. It’s all about finding that balance.

Together, we’re raising a son and a daughter who are closely observing us, absorbing lessons from our imperfections while hopefully glossing over our less-than-stellar parenting moments. We aim to treat them equally, but there are undoubtedly specific lessons we want to impart to each of them as they navigate their paths in life.

What We Aim to Teach Our Son…

• The importance of respecting toilet seats.
• To embrace his true self, regardless of societal expectations.
• To be mindful of his audience when sharing off-color jokes (this one’s a work in progress).
• How to wash and fold laundry effectively.
• That dessert is best enjoyed in ample portions, regardless of what his partner might say.
• Not to adopt the role of the overbearing alpha male who insists on having the last word.
• The skill of locating items, no matter where they are hidden.
• That consent is essential before touching anyone.
• How to uplift others and make them feel valued.
• The ability to engage in conversation with strangers, particularly over the phone.
• Chivalry, such as opening doors for everyone.
• The value of complimenting his partner—especially about her appearance.
• To look for the beauty in people, even when it’s not immediately visible.
• The importance of giving more than he receives.
• To forge friendships and build connections.
• To experience love deeply, even if it leads to difficult moments.

What We Want Our Daughter to Understand…

• How to deliver a well-timed kick to the balls if necessary.
• The steps to change a flat tire.
• The best approach to ask someone out on a date.
• How to maintain friendships and nurture them.
• To appreciate her own beauty, even when it feels hidden.
• To offer compliments to her partner, especially about their appearance.
• The joys of solo travel, dining, and movie outings.
• To never apologize for simply being a woman.
• The power of listening more than speaking (we’re working on this one!).
• To trust her instincts in all situations.
• How to ensure her voice is heard (I’m not overly concerned about this one).
• That her body is hers and she has the right to grant permission for any physical contact.
• The benefits of incorporating more vegetables into her diet over living on a perpetual diet.
• To embrace her true self, regardless of what others may think.
• To love deeply, even if it leads to challenges.

Of course, we plan to instill these values in both of our children, and I recognize that our family may look different from others. I often wish there were lessons we didn’t need to teach. For example, I long for a day when I can tell my daughter that she can walk home at night without fear. Unfortunately, that’s not the reality we live in. Likewise, it would be ideal if we didn’t have to teach our son about asking for consent before physical touch; that should be a given. But we will continue to equip them with these essential skills and hope that society evolves alongside us.

For more insights on parenting and fostering healthy relationships, be sure to check out this post. And if you’re exploring avenues for family planning, consider visiting Make a Mom for high-quality at-home insemination kits. Additionally, the CDC offers invaluable information regarding pregnancy and home insemination.

To summarize, preparing our children to thrive in the world requires us to impart essential lessons about respect, self-acceptance, and navigating relationships. While we can’t protect them from every challenge, we can equip them with the tools to handle life’s complexities with grace and confidence.