For months, I’ve been anxious about my upcoming birthday. It’s not that I dislike celebrating—on the contrary, I relish any opportunity to bake a cake and enjoy being the center of attention! But this year feels different. This year, the reality of turning 40 has struck me hard.
My unease began about six months ago during a casual catch-up with a former colleague, Jake. He asked me how old I was, and when I answered, his reaction was one of pure disbelief. “Seriously? No way!” he exclaimed. Was it because he thought I looked younger, or did it just remind him of how much time had passed since he hired me right out of college? He jokingly warned me, “Don’t mention that on your blog; it might cost you future job opportunities!”
While he aimed for humor, the underlying truth resonated with me. In the media industry, a woman’s appearance and age can sometimes overshadow her professional capabilities. Unfortunately, the double standards are glaring—aging can feel like a career death sentence for women.
As I grappled with my thoughts, I found myself spiraling into an emotional whirlwind throughout the summer. I began questioning my accomplishments: Had I done enough? Was I a failure for not expanding my family? Did I still possess attractiveness, especially after spotting my first gray hair and navigating the changes brought on by perimenopause?
In my misery, I declared I wouldn’t celebrate this milestone. I told my partner, Mark, that I wanted no parties; I didn’t want my colleagues to know my age. I attempted to ignore the impending birthday, wishing time would simply freeze.
But deep down, I was being hypocritical. While I encourage our daughters to embrace their true selves, I was resisting my own reality. I failed to appreciate the body that nurtured our children and the fulfilling career I’ve built in television. Instead, I fixated on what I hadn’t achieved. Then, a revelation struck: So what?!
So what if I’m entering 40? So what if my body has changed and I’m not a size 4 anymore? I am exactly where I’m meant to be. It’s time to stop resisting and embrace this new chapter of my life.
As I sit here on the eve of my 40th birthday, I feel a sense of excitement blooming within me. I’m ready to celebrate the journey that has led me here. To all those who say “age is just a number,” I want to emphasize that it’s so much more than that.
Reaching 40 for me has been a transformative experience. Initially daunting, I now see it as a badge of honor. Forty signifies the resilience of my marriage after years of grappling with infertility. It represents my triumph over the trials of IVF and the joyous path to parenthood. At 40, I reflect on a life well-lived—one that still has much to offer. This milestone has inspired me to prioritize my own desires and launch my own business.
Now is the time to embrace love and look forward to what lies ahead. Years may be mere numbers, but they vanish too quickly. I refuse to squander another moment dwelling on the past. Instead, I choose to live authentically and joyfully.
For those who want to learn more about fertility journeys, check out this insightful post on Cervical Insemination. And if you’re considering at-home insemination, I recommend visiting Make a Mom, where you can find reputable insemination kits. For comprehensive information on fertility treatments, including IVF, explore UCSF’s resources.
In summary, turning 40 is not something to dread but to embrace. It signifies strength, resilience, and the beauty of life’s journey. Let’s celebrate where we are and look forward to what’s to come.
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