I heard you say that word the other day. It slipped from your lips as casually as it once did from mine—without much thought or emphasis. We’ve become so accustomed to this phrase, both from ourselves and others, that we often overlook its significance.
“I’m just a stay-at-home mom.”
I could sense the apology woven into your voice, and I felt your uncertainties. Within that small four-letter word lies a mountain of fears, anxieties, and insecurities. I understand this because I’ve stood in your shoes; I’ve carried those same fears and doubts. I’ve uttered those very words: I’m “just” a stay-at-home mom.
You fret that you’re failing at your “job.” You ponder if your degree was a waste. You compare yourself to other women out there making strides in their careers, achieving goals, and scaling the corporate ladder. You worry that being at home makes you less valuable, less competent, less engaging. You might think that, despite your spouse’s support for your choice to stay at home, one day that admiration may shift to resentment. You question your feminist credentials, your intriguing-ness, your worth. You stress over the idea that you are merely a stay-at-home mom.
Listen, mama, there’s no “just” in being a stay-at-home mom.
There’s no “just” in motherhood, no matter what shape it takes for you. Whether your days are spent changing diapers and organizing playdates or negotiating deals and leading meetings, we are all in the business of mothering. We are all doing essential and meaningful work. We are all raising children, and there’s nothing trivial or mundane about that. There’s no “just” in being a mother.
You’re not just a stay-at-home mom; you’re a nurturer, keeping a little life thriving and flourishing. You’re nourishing babies from your body or a bottle, cradling heavy toddlers in your arms, and comforting preschoolers who fall during playtime.
You’re not just a stay-at-home mom; you’re a caretaker, changing dozens of diapers, tackling mountains of laundry, and preparing multiple meals (one for the baby, one for the picky toddler, and one that will go cold because you were too busy).
You’re not just a stay-at-home mom; you’re a multitasker, reading to your preschooler while nursing the baby and checking your first-grader’s homework. You’re on hold with the pediatrician while assisting your preschooler with brushing their teeth. You’re stirring pasta sauce while listening to your son enthuse about Minecraft, responding with “wow” and “cool” at just the right moments.
You’re not just a stay-at-home mom; you’re a peacekeeper, mediating disputes over who gets the red cup and soothing tantrums when juice spills on the floor. You can perfectly halve a fruit snack, ensuring fairness among siblings. You negotiate resolutions to standoffs about naptime and TV choices.
You’re not just a stay-at-home mom; you’re a healer, kissing scraped knees and applying Band-Aids to both real and imagined boo-boos. You hold puke buckets for sick little ones and place cool washcloths on feverish foreheads. You’ve combed out lice more than once.
You’re not just a stay-at-home mom; you’re a teacher, guiding your children in tying shoes, singing the Alphabet Song, and expressing “please.” You teach resilience—how to try, fail, and try again. You’re helping them become the best versions of themselves.
You’re not just a stay-at-home mom; you’re an advocate, showing your children that true feminism embodies equality and choice. You volunteer for your kids, dedicating hours to photocopying for their school or baking for the PTA. You brave the non-air-conditioned bus to chaperone class field trips with a bunch of rambunctious kids.
So, hear me when I say, mama, you’re not just a stay-at-home mom; you’re a Nurturer-Caretaker-Multitasker-Peacekeeper-Healer-Teacher-Advocate.
In other words, you’re a Mom. You’re doing hard, meaningful work. So are we all. There’s no “just” in being a mom, no matter where and how you choose to embrace motherhood.
If you’re looking for more insights, check out one of our other blog posts that dives deeper into the nuances of motherhood here. Also, if you’re considering at-home insemination, a reputable source for syringe kits can be found here. For valuable resources on treating infertility, you can explore this link.
In summary, being a stay-at-home mom is anything but “just.” You embody countless roles, all of which contribute immensely to your family and society.
Leave a Reply