Why I’m Tough on My Kids: It’s About Raising Responsible Adults

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Being labeled a strict mom doesn’t bother me; in fact, I embrace it wholeheartedly. My kids often refer to me as “mean,” and I wear that title with pride. After years of self-discovery, countless late-night debates, and more than a few tears (mostly mine), I’ve reached a point where I’m comfortable with my parenting style. When I embarked on this parenting adventure, I was clueless about many things. However, I was certain about a few key principles: there would be rules, I would raise kids who could stand on their own, and yes, sleep would be a non-negotiable factor in our household.

From the get-go, I understood that children don’t inherently grasp the concepts of right and wrong, nor do they automatically know how to keep their spaces tidy. Initially, I started with simple expectations: I asked my toddler to help put away his toys at the end of the day. Admittedly, on many occasions, he would only manage to toss one toy into the box while I cleaned up the rest. But gradually, he learned to tackle his Lego chaos, a lesson that also extended to my daughter when she joined the family. By consistently involving them in the cleanup process and demonstrating the importance of responsibility, they started understanding what was expected of them.

Establishing house rules went beyond just cleaning; it also included setting a strict sleep schedule. Naps and bedtime are sacred in our home. As any parent of a toddler can attest, trying to explain that they need to sleep so Mom can enjoy her Netflix binge often falls on deaf ears. However, I recognized that teaching my kids the art of sleep was crucial for both their well-being and my sanity. I implemented a consistent bedtime, enforced rules about getting out of bed, and endured the inevitable protests, which eventually led to children who could sleep soundly through the night. I wanted them to understand that I wouldn’t always be there to shield them from their fears.

Now that my kids are entering their teenage years, it’s time for them to embrace greater independence. They are ready to take on more responsibilities at home, and I’m seizing this opportunity to equip them with essential life skills. Just as I taught them how to keep their toy room organized, I’m now guiding them on how to navigate adulthood, preparing them for the realities of college life. I’ve started stepping back and allowing them to handle tasks they once relied on me for.

For instance, last year, my son expressed interest in having more say over what went into his lunch. Recognizing a golden opportunity, I provided him with healthy options and set guidelines for what he needed to include. I watched as he crafted his meals, and to my surprise, he began making lunches for his sister too. This not only streamlined our mornings but also allowed me to enjoy my coffee in peace before the school bus arrived.

Many of my friends are shocked to learn that I don’t micromanage my kids’ homework or school project deadlines. While I’m always available to help with challenging assignments and ensure they have the necessary materials, the responsibility of deadlines rests squarely on their shoulders. This hands-off approach fosters their time management skills and accountability. Just recently, my son turned in an assignment a few hours late, which impacted his grade and his standing for the honor society. It was a tough lesson, but one he needed to learn. Instead of intervening, I let him face the consequences, knowing it would reinforce the importance of managing his time.

I know I’m tough on my kids and I have high expectations for them every day. They contribute to household chores, and I make sure they have the tools and knowledge to succeed. With only a few years left before they venture into the world, I take pride in seeing them take initiative around the house. And who knows? Their newfound skills in cleaning the bathroom will surely make them popular amongst college roommates.

If you’re interested in learning more about the journey of parenthood and all its challenges, check out this insightful blog post on raising responsible children. For those looking to explore their own fertility journey, Make a Mom offers reliable at-home insemination kits. Additionally, Progyny is a fantastic resource for anyone interested in pregnancy and home insemination.

In summary, my strict approach to parenting is rooted in a desire to raise responsible, self-sufficient individuals who can thrive in the world. While it can be tough, I firmly believe that these lessons will serve my kids well as they transition into adulthood.


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