Dad’s Comedic ‘Family Dog Agreement’ Takes the Internet by Storm

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Every parent knows that moment when their child pops the big question: “Can we get a dog?” This question is fraught with responsibility and can send any parent into a mini-panic. It’s not about where babies come from; it’s about the furry friend that will require a lifetime of care.

A dad, known on Reddit as user rjones78, decided to tackle this dilemma head-on by creating a humorous “Family Dog Contract” that his kids had to sign before welcoming a new four-legged family member. The agreement, aptly titled “Dog Contract By Reluctant Dad,” outlines a series of terms that must be adhered to, covering everything from the dog’s size to the specifics of where it can relieve itself in the yard.

According to the contract, the first condition is clear: “Dad never has to pick up dog poop. Ever.” Instead, the kids are responsible for cleaning up after the dog, three times a week, to Dad’s satisfaction. The dad goes on to specify that the dog must be no heavier than 15 pounds, must not shed (good luck with that!), and must use the side yard as its designated potty area. Additionally, the contract states that the pup cannot slobber or have a runny nose, as those types of dogs are essentially “gross.”

Other Stipulations in the Contract

The dad included other stipulations as well, such as:

  • 6. The dog must not scratch the floor. The means of prevention is left up to the kids—whether that’s trimming nails, using booties, or even surgical alterations.
  • 8. If the dog makes a mess indoors and natural cleaning solutions fail, then harsher chemicals may be employed to tackle stains or odors.
  • 9. Dad retains the final say on the dog’s name.
  • 11. The dog will not be treated like a child or sibling. “All parties agree that the dog is a dog,” the contract emphasizes.
  • 12. The dog cannot be featured prominently on the family Christmas card; it can appear only as an incidental background character.

Most importantly, the kids must pledge to never lose interest in the dog and acknowledge that its care is primarily their responsibility for its entire life.

This lighthearted post garnered plenty of laughs on Reddit, with many users stating that the dad would likely end up being the one who loves the dog the most. While some critics called the contract a bit harsh, many recognized it as a sensible guide for anyone considering dog ownership. After all, dogs are not just cuddly companions; they are a long-term commitment.

In an update, rjones78 revealed that his family indeed got a dog shortly after the contract was signed. “Two weeks later, we adopted a three-year-old white fluff ball from a shelter that weighs 15 lbs., is house-trained, and doesn’t shed or drool,” he shared. They named the dog Kershaw (no veto power was needed). It turns out that everyone, including Dad, has embraced the new addition to their family.

This funny yet practical approach to pet ownership serves as a reminder that having a dog is about both love and responsibility. For those interested in exploring pregnancy options, you might find this blog post insightful. And if you’re on the lookout for at-home insemination kits, check out this link for a reputable retailer. For more information on fertility and pregnancy resources, this link is an excellent choice.

In summary, this dad’s “Family Dog Contract” is a humorous yet effective way to prepare children for the responsibilities of pet ownership, proving that a little laughter can go a long way in parenting.

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