Updated: July 27, 2023
When embarking on a new relationship, it’s common to explore various settings together—grabbing coffee, enjoying dinner, attending concerts, or even dancing. These shared experiences help you understand each other better and strengthen your connection. My husband and I have adopted a similar approach with our children, though not in a romantic way! We realized that despite being at home together frequently, we weren’t dedicating enough quality time to engage with each child individually.
To remedy this, we introduced monthly “dates” with each child. Here’s how we make it work:
Alternating Months
Each month, either Mom or Dad takes the lead in planning one-on-one time with the kids. For instance, I schedule outings in July, while my husband takes over in August, and so on. Initially, we tried coordinating simultaneous dates, but our busy lives made it challenging. This alternating approach has proven to be much more manageable.
Keeping It Simple
Our dates often involve low-cost activities like visiting the local ice cream shop or stopping by a bubble tea café. Sometimes my teenage daughter wants to browse craft supplies at Michael’s or JoAnn’s. Occasionally, we’ll dine out if our previous outings have been budget-friendly. I aim to keep our adventures under $10 to help maintain our family finances.
Encouraging Conversation
Although our kids sometimes suggest movies for date night, we prefer activities that facilitate conversation. The objective is to foster a better understanding of our children and provide them a safe space to discuss topics they might shy away from in front of their siblings. This intentional interaction is key to deepening our connections.
No Pressure for Perfection
While our time together is important, we don’t strive for every outing to be extraordinary. Some dates have been delightful bonding moments, while others have been fairly uneventful. What matters most is simply making the effort. Our children eagerly anticipate these outings, relishing the one-on-one attention from a parent, whether we’re sharing a scoop of ice cream or just chatting.
Affirming Our Enjoyment
During these dates, my kids often open up in ways they don’t usually get to at home. My husband has noted similar experiences with his outings. These intimate moments help us see each child as their own person. Although we can connect at home, stepping away from our routine adds a special layer to our bond. That dedicated time not only nurtures our relationships but also lays the groundwork for trust and cooperation in our family. When kids feel genuinely connected, they’re more inclined to be respectful and helpful.
It may seem unusual to refer to this as “dating” our children, but that’s precisely what we do. We carve out time away from our daily lives to focus on one another and deepen our familial ties. We learn, we laugh, and we enjoy each other’s company—essentially falling more in love, which is the ultimate goal of any meaningful date.
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Summary
Creating special one-on-one time with each child is essential for building strong family bonds. By scheduling monthly dates, keeping activities simple, and encouraging open dialogue, we nurture our relationships and foster deeper connections. These intentional moments are an investment in our family’s future and help our kids feel loved and valued.
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