One morning on our way to grab some donuts, my 2-year-old decided to have an all-out meltdown. I had promised my older kids a treat for being so helpful around the house, and I didn’t want to punish them just because their little brother was struggling. So, we opted for the drive-thru instead. While I was trying to remain calm amidst the chaos, my son suddenly yelled, “I’ll take two meanies and one ugly!” as he thrashed around in his seat. Those were his go-to insults, and he used them to vent his frustration because he wasn’t getting his way.
I did my best to avoid a scene, but the entire restaurant heard him anyway. Let’s be real: kids will throw tantrums—sometimes in the privacy of your home, but often in public spaces like Target. It’s 2021, and it’s time to move past the idea that children should be seen and not heard. Instead, let’s approach these situations with a bit of empathy, keeping the following in mind:
1. Tantrums Are Normal
Tantrums are a typical phase of childhood development. As a parent of three, I can attest that every child experiences this at some point—even my usually well-behaved daughter. She was calm and collected most of the time, but occasionally, she would have her own public meltdowns. It didn’t mean she was a spoiled child; she just needed to express herself in that moment.
2. It’s Not About Discipline
Back in my early 20s, before I had children, I thought tantrums indicated poor discipline. I would watch parents struggle with their kids while enjoying drinks with friends, thinking I had it all figured out. Fast forward to today, and I’ve learned that tantrums can happen to anyone—and attempts to “discipline” in that moment often don’t work.
3. Every Child Goes Through It
Every child has their moments. They come with needs they can’t fully articulate and might just be having a rough day. Honestly, sometimes I wish I could throw a tantrum, but being an adult means finding more mature ways to cope—like enjoying a glass of wine.
4. No One Enjoys the Situation
Not the child, not the parents, and certainly not anyone nearby. It’s a tough moment for everyone involved. Just like we endure less pleasant experiences in life, such as doctor visits or cleaning up after pets, we have to accept that tantrums are a part of parenting.
5. Give Parents Space
Avoid trying to intervene unless you’re genuinely willing to help. Overstepping can confuse the child even more and frustrate the parent. While there are certainly some parents who might not handle a situation well, most are doing their best and know how to manage their children’s behavior.
Public tantrums are simply part of life. If you venture out, you’re likely to witness one, and a little compassion can go a long way in those moments. So, anticipate the noisy outbursts, prepare to hear them, and try not to be judgmental. This is a shared experience among parents, and a little understanding can make all the difference.
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Summary:
Public tantrums are a normal part of childhood development that every parent faces. Instead of judging, we should offer empathy and understanding in these challenging moments. Tantrums don’t reflect poor parenting but are simply kids expressing their feelings. Give parents space, and remember that everyone involved is navigating a tough situation.
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