Reaching my mid-thirties might not seem particularly ancient, but lately, I’ve been feeling the passage of time a bit more than I used to. How do I know this? Let me break it down for you:
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Bird Watching Enthusiast
I recently found myself gazing out the window, captivated by a female cardinal at my bird feeder—a gift I specifically asked for on Mother’s Day. Before long, I can picture my kids gifting me bird-themed items for Christmas, and me proudly wearing an appliquéd bird sweatshirt at school events. It’s just a matter of time. -
Chronic Back Pain
Let’s be real—my back is in constant agony. I regularly complain to my kids, making them line up to give me back rubs. I encourage them to dig their little elbows in, all while I dramatically moan in pain. Because, you know, getting older comes with its aches. -
DVR-ing Late Night Shows
I admit it: I record The Tonight Show. Sorry, Jimmy, you’re hilarious, but I just can’t hang late anymore. Who even stays up past midnight? -
Game Show Aficionado
I’ll confess: I find myself glued to Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy. My heart races when I know the answer, much like a grandma at Bingo. I don’t actively seek these shows out, but if they’re on, I’m not changing the channel. -
Weather Forecast Wizard
I can practically predict the weather for the entire week. I was aware of the cold front blowing in last night and made sure my kids wore light jackets this morning. And yes, I have an umbrella in my bag because that’s just smart! -
Random Aches and Pains
Right now, my neck and thumb hurt for no apparent reason. These random aches come and go like unwelcome guests. I can’t even crochet today because my thumb is acting up! (See? Definitely feeling older.) And what’s my go-to remedy? Bengay. I basically smell like menthol and lost youth. -
Outdated Slang Confusion
Let’s be honest: I have no clue what “bae,” “fleek,” or “turnt” even mean. I still say “cool beans,” and just searched “teen slang words 2015” on my computer. It’s clear I’m out of the loop. -
Snapchat Skeptic
I gave Snapchat a shot for a few days but found it tedious and pointless. My old lady eyes struggle to see the pictures without my glasses, and before I know it, the snaps vanish. What’s the appeal? -
Annoyed by Small Children
I appreciate that my kids can make their own cereal and let me enjoy some peace on Sunday mornings. But if I’m asked to entertain needy toddlers, I start to panic. The baby train left my station years ago, and I’m not ready to be a grandma yet—I’m still in the prime of adulthood! -
Sleep is Life
Ah, sweet sleep. I crave it, and if I’m not sleeping, I’m thinking about the next moment I can catch some Z’s. I often skip social events because I can’t bear the thought of staying awake long enough to make the drive worthwhile. I’m just old and exhausted.
The twenty-something version of me would probably roll her eyes at this list. But that’s life: you gradually morph into a version of your mother or grandmother. I’m not planning on being a cougar anytime soon, so I suppose I should just embrace the inevitable wrinkles and stock up on hard candy. And Bengay.
For more insights on navigating motherhood and aging, check out this post on why you should be friends with the oldest mother in your child’s first grade class.
In summary, aging comes with its quirks and challenges, but it’s all part of the journey. Embrace the changes, and don’t forget to enjoy the little moments as you transition through life.
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