In this incredible era of parenting, a group has emerged to advocate for those who are just a bit over the whole “playing” thing. Enter the Player Haters Official Organized Parenting Association (PHOOPA). This brave collective gives voice to parents who have long endured the agony of feigning interest in yet another game of “Old Maid,” all while their eyes scream for relief. And let’s not forget the parents who had to add another sibling just to avoid the embarrassment of pretending to see a unicorn in the toy aisle. While I appreciate their mission, I have to confess—I genuinely enjoy playing with my kids (don’t tell PHOOPA!). Here’s a list of things I’d happily put aside for quality playtime:
- Toilet Cleaning: Sure, it might sound noble, but I’d much rather be Captain Hook than get my hands anywhere near that porcelain throne. Seriously, how did I even get that dirty?
- Laundry: I know, shocking! But honestly, I’d choose to be Prince Eric from The Little Mermaid instead of the laundry fairy who folds and sorts clothes.
- Napping: Just kidding! If I can manage both playing with the baby and sneaking in a snooze, I’m all in. Who says you can’t have the best of both worlds?
- Phone Conversations: I’m not the chatty type—unless I’m on a toy phone planning a pretend ball with all the princesses. That I can do all day!
- Yard Work: Forget pulling weeds! I’d rather soak my kids with water guns and by the time we’re done, it’s too dark to do anything outside.
- Cleaning Out the Closet: That junk-filled closet? Not happening. I’d much rather spend time making colorful shaving cream paints with the kids.
- Yoga: My mat has turned into a runway for my daughters’ fashion show. I even throw in a dramatic warrior pose for effect!
- Taking Out the Trash: Garbage? Please! I’m busy hosting the “Matching Game” with my karaoke machine.
- Dusting: I’d rather be the patient in a make-believe hospital than stirring up dust bunnies that make me sneeze.
- Leaving the House: Getting dressed? Ugh. I can play all day in my pajamas. I can even don my wedding dress and strut around the living room without a care!
I’m grateful for PHOOPA’s efforts to support all styles of parenting. The day will come when we can parent as we please without judgment.
Disclaimer: PHOOPA isn’t a real organization… yet. I’ve even thought of some catchy slogans!
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Summary
In this lighthearted take on parenting priorities, Jenny Thompson shares ten household tasks she would gladly set aside to indulge in playtime with her kids. From avoiding laundry to skipping yoga, she humorously highlights the joys of engaging with her children over mundane chores.