Parenting
Updated: Dec. 20, 2023
Originally Published: July 27, 2023
Not just any old man, but a grandpa! Grandpas manage to strike that perfect balance between grumpy and lovable, which makes this transformation into grandpa-hood a little less daunting. I mean, who doesn’t enjoy spending time with a good ol’ Gramps, even if he tends to grumble more than necessary?
Here are some things I’ve recently realized I have in common with the classic grandfather type:
- My pants sit way higher on my waist than anyone else’s around me.
- I’ve been known to mumble “kids these days” loudly enough for the kids I’m griping about to hear.
- I love taking my little ones to the park, only to share tales about how folks I know have lost limbs playing on the same equipment.
- My right knee starts to throb when rain is on the way.
- I have a favorite chair in front of the TV, and it really bugs me when someone else sits in it.
- My kids know to come to me whenever they need some spare change.
- I’m up at the crack of dawn, enjoying oatmeal while watching the weather—just to verify what my knee has already told me.
- I eat lunch before noon.
- Dinner starts promptly at 5 p.m.
- I usually feel sleepy by 8 p.m.
- “Can you hand me the clicker?” is a phrase I’ve used more times than I can count.
- Seriously, why would I pay someone to fix something I can do myself?
- I’ve reached the age where bifocals are a necessity.
- Night driving? No thanks!
- I’d much rather listen to my kids playing Kick the Can than hear them battle it out on Mario Kart.
- My shoes are big, comfy, and supportive.
- When my kids suggest taking me out to dinner, I prefer the local diner over those fancy new restaurants.
- I’ve been accused of yelling when I’m really just talking in my indoor voice.
- I’ve discovered eyebrow hairs longer than the hair on my head—yikes!
- The only magic trick I know is how to pull a nickel from a kid’s ear.
- I have a jar filled with various bars of soap—who doesn’t?!
- In fact, I’m ready for just about anything that comes my way.
- When I watch the kids from my couch, I often find myself resting my eyelids.
- My ultimate favorite candy? Butterscotch Life Savers!
- My kids love to sit on my lap and ask me what it was like “in the olden days.”
I could go on and on, but you get the idea. Besides, I need to head out soon. I’m taking a stroll downtown to meet my pals at the VFW to grumble about gas prices over some black coffee—uphill both ways, of course!
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Summary:
The author humorously reflects on the characteristics that signal their transformation into a grandpa, from high-waisted pants to early bedtimes, while sharing relatable anecdotes. The piece highlights the joys and quirks of becoming a grandparent, inviting readers to appreciate the unique qualities that come with age.