Pregnancy
8 Things to Prepare for When You’re Expecting at 40
I welcomed my first little one at 38 and my second at 40, and honestly, I wouldn’t change a thing about waiting. That said, there are a few quirks that come with being an “older” expectant mom, which can sometimes be a bit of a hassle. The good news is that having children in your forties is becoming increasingly common, so support is out there. Here are a few things you might want to prepare for:
- Getting Used to the Phrase ‘Advanced Maternal Age’
You’ll hear this term more times than you can count. You might as well get it printed on a mug! By the end of your first trimester, this phrase will be all too familiar. But don’t let it stress you out too much; many doctors consider this term outdated. Remember, numerous women are having healthy pregnancies after 35. Yes, there are increased risks, but don’t let it overshadow your joy. If you’re feeling anxious, consider genetic testing. Just ensure you have a supportive doctor—your experience will be a lot more enjoyable if you feel comfortable with your healthcare provider. If they’re constantly bringing up “advanced maternal age” and it’s getting under your skin, don’t hesitate to find someone else. - Being the ‘Elder Stateswoman’ in Parenting Classes
It’s a reality you’ll need to embrace. You’ll likely find yourself surrounded by younger moms in every class you attend. Just think of it as having a unique perspective—wisdom comes with age, right? - Your Body Might Take Longer to Recover
Let’s face it: bouncing back might not be as easy as it was in your twenties. And if you’ve had previous pregnancies, it may be a whole different ballgame. Be gentle with yourself and recognize that shedding those extra pounds might take a bit longer. Progress at your own pace! - You’ll Be 60 When Your Kid Goes to College
It’s a harsh reality, but it’s best to come to terms with it now. You’ll also be 70 when they hit the big 3-0. Just let it go, relax, and enjoy the journey. - Younger Moms Will Turn to You for Advice
Strangely enough, there’s an assumption that older moms have it all figured out. You might find younger parents asking for your wisdom, which could be fun. I like to throw in some goofy suggestions just for laughs! - The Amnio Dilemma
As soon as your OB/GYN discovers there’s a baby in your womb, they will probably mention amniocentesis. My advice? Go for it! While genetic testing can be overwhelming, it’s important for peace of mind. You’ll have an initial screening that checks for elevated risks. If those results are concerning, more tests will follow. Some new tests are marketed as almost as good as an amnio, but they only cover a few disorders. If you’re a bit of a worrier like I am, you might want to opt for the most thorough test possible. I skipped the amnio in my pregnancy at 40 and ended up regretting it. After weeks of testing, I was advised to get the amnio anyway since it was the most conclusive option. If I could do it again, I’d just get the amnio and save myself the hassle. It’s a very personal choice, so do what feels right for you! - Getting Used to People’s Overenthusiasm About Your Age
When people realize you’re 40 and pregnant, their excitement can be a bit over the top. “Wow, that’s amazing! You look incredible!” You’ll soon learn to take it in stride. - Understanding the Grandkid Pressure
What if my child decides to wait until she’s 40 to have kids? I’ll be 80 before I get to be a grandparent! All those eye rolls you gave your parents when they brought up grandkids? Yeah, they’ll come back to haunt you.
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Summary:
As you prepare for pregnancy at 40, brace yourself for some unique experiences. From hearing “advanced maternal age” repeatedly to navigating the challenges of recovery and offering parenting advice to younger moms, it’s a journey filled with ups and downs. Embrace the support available and remember to take things at your own pace.