By: Jamie Thompson
Updated: Dec. 1, 2023
Originally Published: Jan. 14, 2015
Before stepping into the role of motherhood, I never envisioned myself pondering questions like, “Is it acceptable for my toddler to use my sock as toilet paper?” or, after my little one decided to decorate herself with her great-grandparents’ ashes, “How much soap do I need to get human remains out of hair?” Spoiler alert: A considerable amount. Now that I’m a mom, I’ve found myself asking these and many more puzzling questions.
Here’s a list of 25 intriguing queries I never anticipated I’d be asking as a mother:
- Is that chocolate or poop?
- Oh no, will anyone notice I’m wearing mismatched shoes?
- Can a baby genuinely drain your life force through breastfeeding?
- Ketchup definitely counts as a vegetable, right?
- How is it that I have a degree and can’t solve this second-grade math problem?
- Wrestling my child into her clothes counts as a workout, doesn’t it?
- Did my mom also hide in the bathroom for a moment of peace?
- How long can a kid live on just toast?
- Is it possible for my ears to burst from the sheer volume of words they’ve absorbed?
- Is she genuinely being sweet, or is there an ulterior motive?
- How long can one survive without sleep before something tragic happens?
- I don’t need to reapply makeup if I didn’t wash off last night’s, right?
- What pitch of scream actually shatters glass?
- Does my partner really sleep that soundly, or is he pretending?
- Wow, how long has it been since I paid attention to my eyebrows?
- If I stay silent, will they still discover me?
- How much do I really care about enforcing this rule right now?
- Did I remember to put on a bra?
- Do I possess enough patience to let her help with these ingredients?
- Oh dear, didn’t my mother used to say that exact phrase?
- How did I not realize I’m a complete control freak until he insisted on choosing his own clothes?
- Was Google created solely to terrify me?
- Was I this irritating as a child?
- Am I permanently damaging my child?
- Who am I, really?
Don’t forget to check out more relatable parenting topics and insights, like our post on Cervical Insemination. Also, if you’re looking into fertility options, Make a Mom offers reliable at-home insemination syringe kits. For comprehensive information on procedures, visit NHS, an excellent resource for understanding pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, motherhood is a whirlwind of unexpected questions and hilarious realizations. Embrace the chaos, and remember that you’re not alone in these strange musings.
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