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This Comic Captures the Most Exhausting Aspect of Motherhood
Updated: September 8, 2023
Originally Published: June 1, 2023
A comic by French artist Emma has taken the internet by storm for its vivid depiction of the “mental load” often shouldered by women in households. The comic, titled You Should Have Asked, resonates with many women, who see their own experiences reflected in its illustrations.
The comic opens with a relatable scenario of new parents inviting a friend over for dinner. While the mother juggles feeding the baby, preparing the meal, and managing various tasks, the father enjoys leisurely time with the guest. Sound familiar?
Often, women hesitate to voice these feelings, fearing they may reinforce the stereotype of the hapless father who neglects household responsibilities. While many partners do contribute by feeding the kids and helping with chores, their involvement often doesn’t compare to the overwhelming mental load that women carry daily.
Consider your own home. Who stayed up all night when your child had a fever? Who ensured the fridge was stocked? Who filled out insurance forms, selected new backpacks, or remembered when your child needed a new toothbrush? And who attended the PTA meeting? It’s exhausting!
Women constantly hold a growing mental checklist of everything that needs to be accomplished, and when they attempt to delegate tasks to their partners, they often find they can only manage the one request made of them — nothing beyond that.
These may seem like minor tasks, but they accumulate into a whirlwind of activity. How many times have you felt like you were running in circles all day, accomplishing tasks yet feeling like nothing is truly finished? It’s nearly impossible to manage everything alone, and the emotional toll of having to “assign chores” can feel more burdensome than just handling the tasks yourself. This mindset leads to fatigue — and often, resentment.
This issue doesn’t just plague new parents. As families evolve, the mental load expands, becoming even heavier when women return to work. Women often find themselves as the “project managers” of their households, bearing the brunt of the workload.
Emma emphasizes, “Women are still spending 25 times more hours on chores than men.” For real change to occur, it’s essential for men to recognize that their homes are also their responsibility.
You can explore the entire insightful comic here, as we’ve only scratched the surface. You Should Have Asked will feel as if Emma has stepped into your mind and articulated your day-to-day life.
For those interested in related topics, check out this post on home insemination and visit Make A Mom for expert information on fertility solutions. Additionally, Parents.com provides valuable insights into pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
Emma’s comic highlights the often-unseen mental load that mothers bear in managing household responsibilities. While partners may contribute, the emotional and mental weight still primarily falls on women. This dynamic leads to exhaustion and frustration, emphasizing the need for shared responsibility in family life.