Navigating Intimacy After Babies: A Practical Guide

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When you welcome a new baby into your life, finding the time (and energy) for intimacy with your partner can feel like an uphill battle. Between diaper changes and midnight feedings, the thought of rekindling romance might seem daunting. However, don’t fret—here’s your friendly guide on how to enjoy some post-baby intimacy:

1. Set the Stage: You and your partner agree to have an “early” night. It’s time to dig through the underwear drawer for something other than your usual pajamas. You might find a mix of options: oversized t-shirts, comfy undies, some old maternity bras, and perhaps a rogue thong from the Great Thong Purge of 2010.
2. The Reality Check: Just as you consider a quick tidy-up of the drawer, you remember the baby might wake up any moment. So, you both jump into bed, only to realize you’re so exhausted that an early night sounds much better.
3. The Next Attempt: The following day, you vow to try again. You get into bed, feeling romantic, but your partner thinks he hears the baby. After a moment of listening, it’s just silence. You continue, but then you think you hear a cry. And sure enough, the baby wakes up!
4. Parenting Interruptions: After feeding the baby, you return to bed, only to find your partner fast asleep. You decide that tomorrow will be the night—no matter what.
5. Changing Locations: Fast forward to two days later, and you agree that tonight is the night! You suggest trying a little romance on the couch to keep things exciting. Just as you start, Thomas the Tank Engine is the unwelcome spectator. You turn him to face the wall, but then, in a classic parenting mishap, you accidentally sit on a plastic Fireman Sam. Your partner, slightly bemused, tosses Fireman Sam into the toy box, and your thoughts wander to the organization of toys.
6. Getting Distracted: You can’t help but think about how things should be in their proper boxes. Trying to set aside those thoughts, you refocus on the moment… but your partner is also distracted and points out the couch’s strange smell, putting the romance on hold for a TV binge instead.
7. A Brief Window of Opportunity: Three days later, the grandparents take the kids away for a few hours. You both see this as a prime opportunity for some much-needed passion. However, you explain that transitioning from parenting to intimacy isn’t that simple. Instead, you suggest a cozy lunch and some conversation first, leading to coffee and cake in bed while swiping through baby pictures on your phones. Suddenly, you realize time is running out before the kids return!
8. The Grand Escape: After two weeks of planning, you decide a night away is essential for some uninterrupted romance. Leaving the baby with the grandparents, you check into a fancy hotel. You indulge in great food, drinks, and finally enjoy a night of incredible post-baby intimacy (though the details might be a bit hazy due to the wine).
9. The Unexpected Twist: Six weeks later, you’re met with a surprise—a positive pregnancy test!

In summary, while navigating intimacy after having a baby can be challenging, it’s important to treasure those moments. Sometimes sleep will win the night, while other times, a little romance will sneak in amidst the chaos.

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