It’s nearly 10 p.m. and my eyes are heavy as I correct a mistake in my opening paragraph. My daughter calls from her room, “Mom! I’m scared! Can you please come cuddle with me?” I ask my partner to go instead. I have a deadline looming in the morning, and I need to finish this before my mind turns to mush.
“But I want Mommy!” my daughter wails.
“She’s busy working, sweetheart,” my partner reassures her.
My heart sinks a little. I can’t help but imagine my daughter in therapy one day, saying, “My mom was always busy working,” while she rocks back and forth in a chair.
I know it sounds dramatic, but the guilt that accompanies working from home is very real and something I never anticipated.
From a young age, I envisioned myself as a stay-at-home mom. I assumed I would work for a bit, get married, have kids, and devote myself entirely to motherhood. I did work for a while, and then I got married; however, when our first child arrived, we simply couldn’t afford for me to stop working altogether. So, I launched a small editing business from home, allowing me to earn a bit of income while keeping my professional skills sharp. Soon, I wanted more consistent work and began online tutoring, organizing my hours around my partner’s schedule. It worked out well for us.
Fast forward 15 years, and I’ve held at least seven different work-from-home roles, often juggling multiple jobs at once. For the most part, it’s been wonderful. I enjoy the flexibility of setting my own schedule, being present for my children during the day, staying engaged professionally, and contributing to our household finances. I genuinely feel fortunate to have secured work I can do from home for so long.
Challenges of Working From Home
However, it’s not all smooth sailing.
Working from home means my professional and personal lives exist in the same space. There’s no clear boundary between when I’m “on” and when I’m “off.” While I appreciate the freedom to create my own schedule, that very flexibility can also be my downfall. If I’m not disciplined with my time, which is not exactly my forte, it’s easy to blur the lines between work and home. I often find myself working in spurts throughout the day and evening, leading to a feeling of being constantly occupied, even though I technically only work part-time hours.
I worry my kids perceive this as well. I’m physically present, but I’m not always mentally available. They see me at the computer, but to them, that doesn’t necessarily mean “working.” They simply understand that Mom can’t give them her undivided attention.
And bless their hearts, they’re not much help with that. When I wake up early to squeeze in some work before they rise, they somehow wake up early too. If I wait until they’re asleep to tackle my tasks, they’ll inevitably call for me from their beds or suddenly want to discuss their deepest feelings late into the night.
I can retreat to my office, but you know how it goes. When Mom’s home, she’s always accessible. I often escape to coffee shops to work, which I genuinely enjoy, but I can’t do that every day.
Then there’s the house itself. Over the years, I’ve discovered that keeping young children entertained without relying on screens usually means some level of mess. Happy kids equal a productive Mommy, but that also means more cleanup time and energy for me (or, more accurately, for the kids; teaching them responsibility requires my time and energy too).
I also face the never-ending laundry piles, shelves that always need dusting, dishes that seem to accumulate endlessly, and so on. These are issues all families face, but when you work from home, they nag at you consistently. I’m part of the chaos and contributing to it while simultaneously being driven mad by it. Since work and kids take precedence, housework often gets pushed aside — sometimes to the point of overflowing and setting off the smoke alarm. sigh
Finding Balance
There are benefits, of course. I never miss out on anything my kids are involved in, and I get to enjoy plenty of time with them. I’ve learned to compartmentalize my time and set clear boundaries, which has been a positive development. I’ve also had to learn not to feel guilty about working in front of my children, although I still struggle with that from time to time. My partner is incredibly supportive, so overall, the advantages outweigh the challenges.
I wouldn’t trade my work-from-home lifestyle for anything, and I’m immensely grateful for the freedom it provides. However, I would advise others not to idealize it too much. As a work-at-home mom, you can experience the best and worst of both worlds.
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In summary, being a work-from-home mom offers both rewards and challenges. While you can enjoy flexibility and the ability to care for your family, it also comes with guilt, mess, and blurred lines between work and home life. It’s a balancing act that requires conscious effort and a supportive partner.