My partner is a dedicated cyclist. He assembles bicycles from the ground up, pedals countless miles each week, and has an encyclopedic knowledge of cycling statistics. Living in the Pacific Northwest, he embodies the quintessential “Bike Snob.” Cycling brings him immense joy, purpose, and enthusiasm. When he’s feeling down, he knows that a challenging 20-mile ride will refresh his outlook. He has shed pounds, developed impressive calf muscles, and no longer craves sweets as he once did.
I’ll admit it—I feel a sense of envy. I envy his ability to discover a passion that fuels both his physical and mental well-being. I also feel left out.
He encourages me to embrace cycling as my passion too, but his well-intentioned nudges only push me away. Cycling simply isn’t for me. My feelings toward the sport have soured, associated as they are with his frequent absences. I appreciate his enthusiasm, but it’s challenging to convince someone else that their passion should resonate with you.
It’s been ages since I felt genuine passion for anything—unless you count my love for coffee or the latest bakery that opened nearby. My focus has been on parenting, and now that I’m in my 40s, I find myself looking back and wishing for the clarity my partner possesses in his pursuits.
Time seems to be slipping away, and at times, I feel like I’m simply waiting for my next chapter. Yet, that chapter seems overdue. While I have strong interests—like writing, making pie crusts, exploring new restaurants, and reading—these hobbies often add inches to my waist rather than strength to my body, even if they bring joy to my day-to-day routine. I’m increasingly restless, yearning for something more fulfilling.
With my kids now in their tweens and teens, this stage of parenting demands a different kind of intention. As my partner chases his cycling dreams, I am left at home, managing household chores, ferrying kids around, and tackling various responsibilities. It can be exhausting, and I feel resentment bubbling beneath the surface.
However, my children’s age also means they spend more time in school, which has altered my schedule, providing a newfound opportunity to explore something new. This could be my moment. Will I seize it? Will I dare to look beyond the confines of my current identity and seek personal growth? As women, it’s vital to prioritize our own needs since we are often busy caring for others. We yearn for opportunities but often hesitate to grasp them when they arise.
I have come to understand a crucial truth: the specific nature of our passions is less important than the act of having one. Whether it’s cycling, immersing oneself in a compelling novel, or any other pursuit, having a passion enriches our lives. I owe it to myself—and we all owe it to ourselves—to discover what truly ignites our spirits. We could be missing out on something extraordinary, and we’ll never regret the journey of exploration.
Everyone deserves a second act in their life. However, it’s not something we can wait for; it’s our responsibility to create it. I am ready for my next chapter.
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