So you’d like to be my mom friend, huh? That’s fantastic! But before we start daydreaming about our next Target run, let’s address some important topics. I’ve been through the wringer before — drama, misunderstandings, and yes, even that one time a child used a rock as a weapon against mine. So, to save us both some time and heartache, we need to establish a few ground rules. Between laundry and managing the unpredictability of tiny humans, I can’t afford to waste time on unnecessary drama.
Do You Respect My Parenting Choices?
I lean towards a more laid-back, attachment parenting style. It doesn’t matter if you choose formula over breast milk or have a different sleep routine. We’ve both done our research and made choices that work for us. What’s crucial is mutual respect. No backhanded compliments or passive-aggressive comments about each other’s methods. I simply don’t have the energy for that.
Are Our Kids Around the Same Age?
Having kiddos that can play together makes it easier for us to connect. It allows us to enjoy that much-needed cup of coffee while they wreak havoc in the other room. But let’s make sure they actually like each other — no little bullies allowed.
Do You Understand the Nature of Small Children?
Let’s face it: toddlers can be downright savage. They bite, scratch, and sometimes they trip over their own feet. If you can’t laugh off the occasional incident, then we might not be the right fit. Embrace the chaos, and we can discuss our little ones’ antics over coffee.
Are You Drama-Free?
I’m talking about no gossiping, backbiting, or secretive grumbling about others. If you thrive on drama or create situations to seek attention, this won’t work out. We both need to focus on lifting each other up rather than dragging ourselves down.
Are You Easily Grossed Out?
Let’s be real: parenting conversations can get pretty graphic. From discussing diaper contents to the nitty-gritty of postpartum experiences, we need to be open. If you’re not comfortable with that, we might not mesh well.
Do You Have Strong Political Opinions?
It’s fine if we don’t see eye-to-eye, but I appreciate well-reasoned thoughts on the issues that matter. Familiarity with current events and political matters is a bonus, as it gives us something to discuss beyond our kids’ daily adventures.
Can We Chat About Topics Beyond Parenting?
Sure, we need to talk about the daily diaper dilemmas, but I also want to chat about everything else: recent trends, recipes, or even that fabulous new secondhand store. If you want a friend who only talks about their baby, you might want to keep looking. I crave a balance between parenting talk and adult conversations.
Are You Up for a Target Trip?
Let’s be honest, that’s a given.
What Doesn’t Matter to Me:
- Whether the laundry is done
- The state of your home, unless it’s a health hazard
- Your parenting style choices
- Your age, career status, or personal life preferences
- Your relationship orientation (love is love, after all)
If you can check all those boxes, congratulations! You’ve passed the mom friend interview. Now, let’s hit up Starbucks and share our stories.
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In summary, finding the right mom friend can save us both a lot of time and hassle. With a mutual understanding of parenting styles, a drama-free attitude, and a willingness to connect on multiple levels, we can foster a healthy friendship that benefits both us and our kids.